Halloween dad jokes may be the scariest part of this once ghoulish holiday. I mean, c’mon — the most horrifying thing about trick-or-treating nowadays is the shrinking size of the candy bars. Fun size, my disembodied eye!
As a service to our readers (and disservice to their friends, co-workers and relatives), we have scoured the internet for the best/worst Halloween dad jokes for kid, friends and family alike. If you use these holiday dad jokes, you will prove you know jack o’ lanterns about the puny business of this horrible, horrible season.
Enjoy … and beware. Beeeeeeeeeeewaaaaaaaaaaaare!
Best/worst Halloween dad jokes
Q: What do you get when you burn a monster in Budapest?
A: Hungarian ghoul ash.
Q: Why do ghosts speak Latin?
A: Because it’s a dead language.
Q: Why wouldn’t the skeleton go trick or treating?
A: Because he didn’t have any guts.
Q: What do short-sighted ghouls wear?
A: Spooktacles.
Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Little BOO Peep.
Q: What does a ghost do when he gets in the car?
A: Puts on his sheet belt.
Q: Why do ghosts hate rainy Halloweens?
A: It dampens their spirits.
Q: What kind of boats do vampires travel in?
A: Blood vessels.
Q: What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling.
Q: Why did the Jack-o’-Lantern look after the pie?
A: They were pump-kin.
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Don’t bother inviting the Invisible Man to your Halloween party. He won’t show up. He’ll make plenty of excuses, but they’re all transparent.
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Q: Why are demons and ghouls always together?
A: Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
Q: Why don’t skeletons go trick-or-treating?
A: Because they don’t have any body to go with.
Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
A: Squash.
Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
A: No body.
Q: Why is Dracula so easy to fool?
A: Because he’s a sucker.
Q: How do monsters like their eggs?
A: Terror-fried.
Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A: Necktarines.
Q: Why are ghosts great cheerleaders?
A: Because they have spirit.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: What do you call a chicken that haunts your house?
A: A poultrygeist.
Q: Which monster is red, round and only comes out in late October?
A: Frankenapple.
Q: What did the girl horse dress as for Halloween?
A: A night mare.
Q: What do witches use on their hair?
A: Scare spray.
Q: Who did the demon take to the Halloween dance?
A: His ghoul friend.
Stay tuned — Thanksgiving dad jokes coming soon! Then watch out for more jokes for kids for Christmas, Valentine’s Day and St. Patrick’s Day!
Halloween jokes for kids photo: ©be free / Adobe Stock.
Great dad jokes! Very enjoyable.