I love both of my children equally but I have become a better parent after realizing I have a favorite child. I sat in the hospital room holding our newborn son, Joseph. Just minutes before, the doctor had to tell me to stop talking throughout the delivery because, as my son was being born, he was turning his head to see me, making things difficult. I looked down at his eyes drawn closed in sleep after the arduous journey he had just taken. Something felt different at that moment than it did after William, our first son, was born. When I held William that first time, I had a sense of … [Read more...]
My Kid’s Failing School: Punishment or Understanding Needed?
The timeout chair had absolute and unquestioned power in our home. Until they were 4, my kids were horrified at the thought of a timeout. But even when the timeout chair didn’t preemptively stop a temper tantrum, it still worked magic. A two-minute sentence of silence in it instantly defrayed the tension. When you got up from timeout, the slate was perfectly clean – no ill will lingered. The timeout chair had many powers, but it had no memory. I miss the timeout chair. Hell, I simply miss the threat of it persuading my little ones to behave better. Unfortunately, no such device … [Read more...]
We Bought Our 6th Grader a Cell Phone — Deal With It
At the end of this past summer, my wife and I bought our sixth grader a cell phone. Right now, many of you are groaning. You're probably thinking, “A sixth grader? Really?!?” Yep, we did, but, here’s the good news. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. We bought our daughter a cell phone for a few different reasons… Because I’m no longer a full-time stay-at-home dad, there will be occasions where she will be a latchkey kid. It won’t happen often, but when it does, it will be nice for her to call us (side note we don’t have a landline … remember those?) She got her Safe Sitter … [Read more...]
Scholarships Now Available for 2019 Dad 2.0 Summit in San Antonio
If you are thinking about attending the annual Dad 2.0 Summit conference, then consider applying for or donating to the event's scholarship fund now. Oren Miller Scholarships are a $500 stipend to offset travel and lodging costs for the conference scheduled for Feb. 21-23, 2019, in San Antonio, Texas. Winning one means you also receive a free ticket to the event, valued at $249. The fund's money comes mostly from the generous donations of attendees and sponsors. City Dads Group has been major supporter of Dad 2.0 over the years, including a $2,500 donation toward scholarships last year. … [Read more...]
Help Children Combat Selfie Culture Through Volunteer Work
Do you ever get tired of parenting in our “selfie” culture? While many recent self-esteem movements have nurtured children’s healthy development, it seems other cultural trends have fostered their self-absorption. (We could begin with the coinage of the word “selfie” and its widespread practice on social media.) So how can parents counteract our culture’s ongoing attack on empathy? There are many strategies, but two have been most powerful for our family: When the children are young, practice empathy in the home. As children age, find ways to practice empathy outside the home — … [Read more...]
A Boy was Bullied Yesterday, and it Needs to Stop Now
Editor's Note: October is National Bullying Prevention Month. According to the Stomp Out Bullying organization, one in four U.S. students say they have been bullied and 5.4 million kids stay home from school on any given day due to a fear of being bullied. A boy was bullied yesterday. I know, I know, a million or more boys -- and girls -- were bullied yesterday. But yesterday it was one boy, a specific boy, a boy I know, a boy I like. I went with my two boys to pick him up for practice, his parents both work and the practices were bumped up to five recently to accommodate the earlier … [Read more...]
Mental Health, Masculinity, Hearings and Cookies
“Come here,” I said. “You need to see this.” My oldest boy walked toward me, his hands bright and swollen in mismatched oven gloves, one of which complimented the apron. He knew what it was that he needed to see, or at least the gist of it. I had been calling him to my side of the kitchen island for the better part of an hour, skipping from video to video, Twitter to Facebook and back again. “Watch this one,” I said. This one featured a man twisted as a pretzel. He was stale, salty and, apparently, wanting for beer. My son watched in silence for a moment, the words screaming … [Read more...]
Be a Better Sports Parent to Your Children, Team and Coach
It’s another sports season and that means parents are running around, trying to figure out how they will manage to get their kids to practices and games. It also means coaches are planning where and when practices will be, fitting time into their own schedules, and trying to remember each player’s names and unique things about them. I’m taking a sabbatical from coaching this season after eight years as a soccer coach and three as a baseball coach. I know the frustrations coaches and parents can have during a sports season, but in this post I want to cover what a coach needs from … [Read more...]
Oregon Leader 1st Gay Father to Lead National At-Home Dad Network
Josh Bellish of Beaverton, Ore., hit the internet shortly after the birth of his son three years ago in search of others in a similar situation to his own -- an at-home father looking for a way to combat the isolation that sometimes comes with full-time parenting. Just three years later Bellish has become a leader in two of those groups he found online: co-organizer of our 550-member Portland (PDX) Dads Group and, as of this month, the president of the nonprofit National At-Home Dad Network. That latest title is of significant note. Bellish's election a few weeks ago at the HomeDadCon … [Read more...]
Introversion in Teen Children Has Upsides for Future
I ran into another parent recently, the mother of a girl at my daughter's high school. Both our kids are seniors this year; they know each other, and are casual friends. After congenial hellos in the line at our neighborhood coffeehouse, she asked, "So! What are Riley's plans after graduation?" We're not totally sure yet, but are looking at colleges in the area. "The whole college thing is overwhelming, isn't it?" the mom exclaimed. "How are her grades? How are her SATs scores? Are you applying to places that put a big emphasis on extracurriculars?" Grades were fine; test scores, … [Read more...]
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