The words of recently deceased, Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison had a huge impact on my life —first as a student, then as a parent. In graduate school, much of my research focused on her powerful novels — especially Beloved — that explored slavery and its aftermath. Later, as a stay-at-home dad, I saw her appear on The Oprah Winfrey Show, and once again her words hit me hard. During that appearance, Morrison captured the nature of a parent's unconditional love: “It’s interesting to see when a kid walks in a room, your child or anybody else’s child, does your face light up? That’s … [Read more...]
Washington, D.C., Dads Group Brings Fatherly Bonds to Nation’s Capital
Washington, D.C., dads and those in its surrounding suburbs now have a chapter of City Dads Group to call their own. DC Dads Group started earlier this year in our nation's capital. Heading the new chapter is Abraham Walker, a real estate agent who lives and works in neighboring Alexandria, Va. Walker is a father of two children, ages 8 and 10. He initially started the Washington, D.C., dads group by looking for local fathers who wanted to hang out through a social media app, then turned to City Dads Group to expand the new organization. With more than 700,000 residents, Washington, D.C, … [Read more...]
Dads Modeling Good Male Behavior Can Improve Their Kids’ Future
“There he is. Over there. In the shadows. On a bench. He’s wearing a knit hat. His beard is a little haggard. Maybe he hasn’t slept in a while, or maybe, just maybe he’s some sort of bearded creeper. He’s just hanging out in a park, surrounded by kids and staring. He’s the only male here. Is he a dad? I haven’t seen him with any kids. He’s just sitting there. Watching the kids play. Something’s off. Oh, no. He made eye contact with me. Is he smiling at me? What’s his deal!?” As a house husband, I’m often the one taking the kids to the park, or gymnastics, or school, or dance. You name it. … [Read more...]
Puppy, Toddler Have This Parent Trained Like a Pro
Take this short quiz and try to figure out if the scenarios mentioned happened to my puppy or one to of my kids, when he/she was a toddler. After the completion of this quiz, you will have a better understanding of what day-to-day life is like at my house. 1. Was it my puppy or my toddler who threw up on a road trip? a. puppy b. toddler c. all of the above The correct answer is C. Most recently, our puppy left a tidy little pile of vomit in her puppy crate on her first long car trip. And, a few years before that, on a trip to grandma’s, our daughter had an epic projectile vomiting … [Read more...]
The Racism We Gift Our Children
My 13-year-old son, Yosef, is black. I’m white. Most times, we’re too busy to take notice of the difference. Never, though, have I felt a pastier shade of white than when I talk to my son about the anecdotes of racial divide that dot the national headlines on what recently seems to be a daily basis. When President Trump calls U.S. Rep. Elijah Cummings out in the context of Baltimore crime statistics and subpar housing conditions, Yosef looks to me to make sense of people calling our commander in chief a racist, asking in confusion, “They’re saying the President is racist. What?” After … [Read more...]
Paid Paternity Leave Gave Me Special Bonding Time with My Newborn
My husband, Matthew, and I chose the surrogacy path to fatherhood. When we started our journey in November 2014, my employer provided six weeks of paternity leave to primary caregivers; Matthew’s only provided one day for the birth of a child. Fast forward to January 2017. My employer, American Express, extended parental and paternity leave to 20 weeks to all care givers! In addition, it was paid paternity leave -- at 100% pay -- and your job remains protected for the duration -- well beyond the protected, unpaid 12 weeks of leave made available to parents through the federal Family and … [Read more...]
Location Tracking Your Teenager: Avoid These 4 Mistakes
We live in a world where everyone voluntarily carries a powerful tracking device with us everywhere we go. Most of us wouldn’t dream of giving it up. We love the fact that “getting lost” has become a thing of the past. We enjoy being able to tag our location in travel photos with a single tap. We’ve gotten used to the luxury of taking an Uber any time of the day or night. There’s no doubt location tracking has incredible benefits. But in the realm of parenting it can also create tension, resentment, depression, and some downright nasty arguments. Teenagers can feel controlled, spied on and … [Read more...]
Rules for Children May be Too Absolute for All Situations
Broadly speaking, it's good we teach kids a few basics of safety. Not every parent is equipped to responsibly handle potentially dangerous situations. So we create very general guidelines that apply to most. That's cool. And kids should be learning about things like unwanted touches from others. Though there was a discussion at the preschool drop-off about getting everybody onboard with using the same body part names as used in the school lessons. But we all handle these things a little differently. However, when the school sent home the "Never-Never Rules" that they'll be studying soon … [Read more...]
First Responders’ Heroism a Lesson for Children on 9/11
Like most Americans, I experienced the trauma of September 11, 2001, through my television. My wife, 1-year-old daughter Lauren, and I had just moved to the Cleveland, Ohio area, and I was a stay-at-home dad. That morning I was in my living room while Lauren watched a children’s show. Our landline phone rang, and my brother-in-law said: “Turn on the news.” I changed the channel over Lauren’s protest. Smoke billowed out of the first tower. Watching a national tragedy unfold in the presence of a 1-year-old made an already surreal experience even more bizarre. I was unsure what to do … [Read more...]
Bringing Children into Post-9/11 World a Bet on a Better Future
Others can give you a more riveting account of that day. What they saw. What they felt. What they smelled. Stories that are breath-taking and heartbreaking in the same sentence. Someone living out a surreal real-life action movie. Nothing extraordinary happened to me that day – Sept. 11, 2001. I was just one of the millions of spectators. But as I cut through Union Square in Manhattan on my way to St. Vincent’s Hospital in Greenwich Village to give blood, I do recall one lightning bolt of a thought flash across my mind. There is no way I’m bringing a child into this world. I was … [Read more...]
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