I didn't really want to play Risk, but I felt a little trapped. My son brought it up a few nights ago and said, "It's Family Game Night! Let's play!" And then my wife said, "Great!" So I capitulated, groaning loudly. We started the game. It's not that I don't like Risk. When I was a kid, I loved it. My best friend in second (or maybe it was third) grade, Paul Squizzero, had the game and on Saturdays, I would go to his house, and we would stage rollicking battles on his kitchen table with his family while his mom made us bologna and ketchup sandwiches, which I absolutely loved. But … [Read more...]
Video Games Bond Fathers, Sons Through the Generations
These are the words every father must say at some point in his life. “Don’t worry about your schoolwork. This is more important.” My 12-year-old puts aside his math and follows me into the living room. I sit on the couch and hand him the second player game controller. He smiles. Game on, bitches. “OK, Dad. Where are you at?” he asks, a touch of superiority in his voice. I don’t like him to see me in a moment of weakness, and I have to remind myself that there is no shame in showing emotion. “It’s the cave, son. I can’t get past the cave.” “On it.” And like that, we jump into one of … [Read more...]
Home Office Goes from Calm to Chaotic with Hostile Family Takeover
Back in late February, when most of the population still thought coronavirus came from a Mexican beer, a friend shared a jokey tweet from an online magazine editor. He wrote that the most frightening aspect of a pandemic that forced people to stay in their homes for 90 days would be that “the only ones to survive will be freelance writers.” It’s now Day Numbersomethingorother of The Great Sequester, folks. It’s the end of the world as you know it, but I feel fine. This “new normal” COVID-19 created is generally not much different than any "old normal day" I’ve had for the past 16 … [Read more...]
Navigating Joy, Worry When Your Spouse is a Healthcare Worker
It’s such a strange disconnect. It feels like the world is falling down around me, yet, on my little island, everything seems sunny and bright. Quite literally as well as figuratively. Every day for the past several weeks, the Florida weather has been relentlessly bright, clear, dry and hot. Completely inappropriate for an apocalypse. And inside the walls of our suburban home, with an air conditioner that whirs and rumbles most hours of the day and night, things are cheery and comfortable. The halls are filled with squeals of joy and laughter that bounce off the wood floors and invade every … [Read more...]
‘Life and Death’ Talks: Parents Must Have Honest One with Kids
“I’m not going to lie to him,” my wife said, turning to me on an evening that now seems so long ago. “He should know what’s going on.” She seemed to expect a different reaction from me but I wasn’t going to argue. It was better for my son to be told the truth. I didn’t want to cover it up and have him start wondering what we were hiding. He didn’t need every detail but he deserved enough information to understand. “I agree with you,” I said. “He should know where we are going.” Our family's destination that evening wasn’t exactly a secret. We were paying a shiva call to a relative whose … [Read more...]
Gender Gap Closure, Increased Parenting Equality Dad Goals for Shut-In
Shame on all dads if this COVID-19 shut-in doesn’t forever close the gender gap with our wives in the battle for household-related equity. Let’s admit it: While today's dads help far more around the house than our fathers did – nearly three times as much -- most still are not doing their fair share. Women in the United States spend on average of 72 minutes more a day than men doing housework and performing childcare tasks, according to the most recent U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistic data. On any given day, 22% of men reported doing housework, such as cleaning or laundry, whereas 50% of women … [Read more...]
Laid Off? Parental Advice to Get You Through Unemployment Blues
These last few months have been quite possibly the most difficult that I have had to endure. I came home the day after being laid off wondering what the next chapter in my life would be. I wondered exactly how long would this latest stint as a laid-off father be? My family and I have been through my unemployment twice before. We knew exactly what we had to do as a result. We knew for the next few weeks, months, possibly years, I’d first and foremost be a stay-at-home-dad. Being unemployed wasn’t easy either time before. There I was laid off, treating my employment search as a … [Read more...]
Coping Strategies to Help Families Hit Brakes During Current Worries
There’s a road sign in the low mountains of western Massachusetts that used to strike fear in me: “Runaway Truck Ramp.” As I drove by the uphill side lane with its soft, gravel bed, scenes of crashing 18-wheelers with no brakes would careen through my mind. I passed the sign again last month on my way to retrieve my daughter from her college that, like so many others, closed early due to the coronavirus (COVID-19) outbreak. The empty interstate made me feel like I was driving through the zombie apocalypse, and it didn’t help when Ohio’s “limit your travel” signs gave way to New York’s more … [Read more...]
Homeschooling Schedule Issues: Too Ambitious vs. Too Lenient
Homeschooling is here indefinitely, and there's lots of logistics to consider. The biggest for many of us being how to make sure that the kids are learning, and that their homeschooling schedule meshes with our own home/work schedule. We attempted to have our 11-year-old son follow an academic schedule of sorts at the start. That worked a little, but there was so much crying and whining and "NO, I can't possibly use THAT pencil!" that I'm not sure how we are going to survive. Here was our original homeschooling schedule, the idea was for 25-minute segments with 15 minutes for resting. It … [Read more...]
Remote Work Lets You Get Job Done on Your Own Terms
As I set up my work space in the new house our family just moved into, I started thinking about all my friends who are now working from home for the first time because of coronavirus closings and quarantines. I remember being overwhelmed when I started remote work five years ago. I felt there was no way I could be productive. After a week or two, though, I realized remote work from home would let me capitalize my productivity on my own terms. Now I’m pretty sure I will never be going back to working in an office. Here are some tips I’ve learned about being the most productive remote worker … [Read more...]
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