Father’s Day dad jokes are an art form. They need to be dad-focused and groan worthy but not in a manner that makes dad the butt of the joke.
That’s why our latest attempt at scouring the internet for the best and worst Father’s Day dad jokes, riddles and puns — all clean jokes for the kids and families to enjoy, mind you — took some extra effort. We had to go almost THREE pages deep. Almost.
(Want something R-rated? Watch this hilarious, not-PC “Dadholes” video for the holiday.)
So if you’d enjoyed our other holiday-themed dad jokes (we’ve done Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Valentine’s Day and St. Patrick’s Day), there’s something seriously wrong with you. Otherwise, enjoy … and be good to your pop on Father’s Day.
And please, don’t get him a tie. No joke.
Best/worst Father’s Day dad jokes for kids
Q: When does a dad joke become a dad joke?
A: When the punch line becomes apparent.
Q: What’s a father’s favorite prehistoric animal?
A: The dad-asaurus
Q: What did the father buffalo say to his son before it left for school?
A: “Bison.”
Q: What did the mother bullet say to the father bullet?
A: “We’re gonna have a BB!”
+ + +
Four dads-to-be are in the hospital waiting room. A nurse enters, and says to the first, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”
“How odd,” the man replies. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”
Another nurse walks in and says to the second man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”
“How weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M Company!”
Another nurse walks in and tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”
“How strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”
The last man starts groaning and banging his head against the wall.
“What’s wrong?” the others ask.
“I work for Century 21!”
+ + +
Q: How is a baby bird like its dad?
A: It’s a chirp off the old block.
Q: Did you hear about the dad who invented the knock-knock joke?
A: He won the no-bell prize!
Q: Why doesn’t Egypt celebrate Father’s Day?
A: Because it’s too full with mummies.
Q:: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
A: “Where’s Popcorn?”
Q: What’s the difference between a poorly dressed dad on a tricycle and a well-dressed dad on a bicycle?
A: Attire.
Q: Why do dads who golf always bring an extra pair of pants?
A: In case they get a hole in one!
+ + +
A woman stops a father pushing a stroller through park and says, “What a cute baby! What’s her name?”
The dad replies, “Beth.”
“Oh,” says the woman, “what’s it short for?”
“Because it’s a baby.”
+ + +
Q: What do you call a dad who falls through the ice?
A: A popsicle!
Teacher: How old is your father?
Student: As old as me.
Teacher: How it is possible?
Student: He only became a father when I was born.
Q: What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into the sheriff’s office?
A: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
Q: What do you call a group of father rabbits walking backwards?
A: A receding hare-line.
Q: How did Darth Vader know what he was getting for Father’s Day?
A: He felt Luke’s presents.
Q: Why do dads feel the need to tell such bad jokes?
A: They just want to help you become a groan-up.
Best Father’s day dad jokes photo: ©Anatoliy Karlyuk/Adobe Stock.
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