Halloween dad jokes may be the scariest part of this once ghoulish holiday. I mean, c’mon — the most horrifying thing about trick-or-treating nowadays is the shrinking size of the candy bars. Fun size, my disembodied eye!
As a service to our readers (and disservice to their friends, co-workers and relatives), we have scoured the internet for the best/worst Halloween dad jokes. If you use these, you will prove you know jack o’ lanterns about the puny business of this horrible, horrible season.
Enjoy … and beware. Beeeeeeeeeeewaaaaaaaaaaaare!
Best/worst Halloween dad jokes
Q: What do you get when you burn a monster in Budapest?
A: Hungarian ghoul ash.
Q: Why wouldn’t the skeleton go trick or treating?
A: Because he didn’t have any guts.
Q: What does a ghost do when he gets in the car?
A: Puts on his sheet belt.
Q: Why do ghosts hate rainy Halloweens?
A: It dampens their spirits.
Q: What kind of boats do vampires travel in?
A: Blood vessels.
+ + +
Don’t bother inviting the Invisible Man to your Halloween party. He won’t show up. He’ll make plenty of excuses, but they’re all transparent.
+ + +
Q: Why are demons and ghouls always together?
A: Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
Q: Why don’t skeletons go trick-or-treating?
A: Because they don’t have any body to go with.
Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
Q: How do monsters like their eggs?
Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Q: Why are ghosts great cheerleaders?
A: Because they have spirit.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Q: What do you call a chicken that haunts your house?
A: A poultrygeist.
Q: What did the girl horse dress as for Halloween?
A: A night mare.
Q: What do witches use on their hair?
A: Scare spray.
Q: Who did the demon take to the Halloween dance?
A: His ghoul friend.