Thanksgiving can be a stressful holiday for many reasons, but the elections and politics of the past few years make it more taxing than usual. Keep your sanity intact this holiday by avoiding the following Thanksgiving conversations and topics:
Blue/red wave: Unless you are talking about your plans for a beach vacation.
“Make _____ Great Again” jokes: “Pass me the gravy so I can Make This Turkey Great Again!” We get it, Grandpa Republican, we get it.
Fight Club: IT’S THE FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB! Don’t talk about Fight Club.
Safe spaces: Exception — You may say, just once, “No controversial topics while the football game is on. The TV area is a safe space.”
“Happy holidays” vs. “Merry Christmas”: This includes “season’s greetings,” too, smart guy.
Guns, gun safety, gun control: No one is going to change anyone’s mind on this issue in one afternoon. Not even if you threaten to withhold the pumpkin pie.
The safety of tackle football: This will be a difficult topic to avoid considering it will likely be the only distraction on TV all day, so see “safe spaces” above.
“Her emails”: Hillary’s or Ivanka’s.
Feeling the Bern: In the political sense. Also, “Feeling the Burn” in the STD sense.
Refugee caravan vs. invading foreign army: Don’t make my intern take the microphone from you.
Starbucks holiday cup design: They are paper cups, people. Paper. Cups. Drink your latte then toss ’em into the recycling.
Recycling: Dang it!
If retail stores should be open on Thanksgiving or wait until Black Friday: Because Friday, obviously.
Kneeling during the National Anthem: Seriously, dude! See “safe spaces” above.
Fake news: Some of those sites deemed fake may be the most Fair and Balanced news sources your relatives rely upon, so it’s probably best to avoid the topic altogether.
Weather: Because you KNOW it will immediately pivot into a conversation about Global Warming.
What Thanksgiving conversations can you have? The Red Sox winning the World Series seems like a potentially safe topic … even for Yankees and Dodgers fans, I suppose.
In all seriousness, if you’re still reading this, everyone’s best bet may just be to stick to talking about stuff you can control. Local stuff. Conversations about what your kids are up to, stories from grandparents about their lives growing up, and without a doubt, spend time talking about what you are thankful for, not all the BS listed above, but the stuff that makes you happy, and grateful in your life.