I wanted another boy.
I have no problem admitting it.
Sure, no matter what we were blessed with, I would be grateful for and pray that he or she would be healthy. But another boy? That would’ve been music to my ears. And don’t get me started on the financial implications. I could just pass all of my 2-year-old’s clothes and toys down to his little brother and not have to worry about buying too many new things. Easy peasy.
I even had a list of potential names written down.
So imagine my reaction when my wife received the results of the blood work from her genetics testing that revealed consistencies with that of a female.
A girl. We’re having a girl. I’m going to be a girl dad this December.
It took me a while to wrap my head around that news.
For starters, this pregnancy sort of “snuck up” on us. My wife and I both grew up only children, so we definitely knew we wanted more than one child. It was just a matter of when. The “plan” was to get through the summer and my wife’s birthday in October before we really tried. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned this season is that God laughs at whatever plans we think we have.
Life happens and here we are.
As we prepare to go from a party of three to four, I’m experiencing a distinct difference in emotions. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled beyond belief. But so far, the excitement I felt when I was getting ready to become a first-time dad, has been replaced with a mixture of concern, worry and anxiety this go ‘round.
Having gone through the process once, I sort of know what to expect out of the actual pregnancy. The doctor’s appointments, the physical and emotional changes my wife will experience and the birth itself. However, in the same breath, I know everything that needs to be done to prepare for baby girl’s arrival. And that’s what’s dominating my mind. I’m thinking about all the logistics.
And how much all of it’s going to cost.
My friends who are fathers of multiple children have told me this is normal. They said not to worry too much because everything will take care of itself. Some of those same friends who have daughters also shared with me that in becoming a girl dad, I’m about to experience an indescribable love.
It’s the anticipation of that love, along with the many great things others have described about having a daughter, that has put my worry about her arrival at ease — somewhat. Yes, I’m still worried about getting the nursery together. I still have a list of things we need to get done before December. I’m definitely looking at our budget to figure out how we will make two daycare tuitions work.
The term “girl dad” became popular in the wake of the untimely passing of Kobe Bryant in 2020. In a conversation with ESPN’s Elle Duncan, Bryant said, “Be thankful that you’ve been given that gift because girls are amazing.”
So even though another boy would’ve been awesome, I’m thankful for the gift we’ve been given. I may be a bit stressed now, but it will be worth it once she gets here, when I’ll officially join the fraternity of girl dads.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jamar Hudson is the host of The Fatherhood Podcast, a platform he created to chronicle his journey as a new father and have meaningful dialogue with other dads. He lives in the Washington, D.C., area with his wife. When not working, he’s most certainly watching YouTube Kids or Nickelodeon or working on his jump shot on his son’s Little Tikes hoop.