One Day, My Son, All Fathers Go from 'Daddy' to Just 'Dad'

father son daddy sitting on sidewalk soccer ball

One of my friends put something up on Facebook a while ago about his 11-year-old son informing him that he wanted to call him “Dad” from now on.

I was sitting in the parking lot in my car, reading this after a long overnight shift, and I was in tears.

This son was telling his father that he wasn’t little anymore. No more “Papa” or ”Daddy.” Just “Dad.”

What is next: using first names?

I know that soon I’ll just be Dad. I guess that is the way it has to be.

In our society, the father-daughter relationship is talked about so much. Daddy’s Little Girl. Daddy-Daughter Dances, etc. And while that bond is super important, we rarely talk about father-son relationships outside of having a catch with your son when he is little and then fast-forwarding to having a beer with him when his becomes legal.

But the relationship we have with our sons is really different. In many ways, our sons are an idealized version of our own boyhood. I’m not saying they are there to finish things that we didn’t accomplish. I want my son to be an Eagle Scout, for example, but not because I didn’t make it. But because I can only imagine how amazing it will be for him to earn that honor.

My son is all the things I was not as a little boy. Adventurous. Athletic. Loud. Fun. Brave. Curious. Bold.

But he is also like me as a little boy as well. Sweet. Shy. Sensitive. Helpful. Observant. Stubborn.

Being this little boy’s father has been an amazing journey. It’s not just hours spent throwing a baseball until I can barely lift my arm. Nor sleeping in a soggy tent, on a soggy night, on a soggy minor league baseball field in Brooklyn. But it’s watching him learn to become a leader. Watching him figure things out on his own. Watching him turn into a better version of me.

Maybe part of it is my dad never got to do those things with me. I was two years younger than my son is now when my father passed. He had been sick for a while before that so I wasn’t at an age where I was fun to be with yet. Then I think about the two years I had as a father when my little guy when I was home and he wasn’t in school and how it gave us a special bond. Hundreds of hours spent in Gymboree’s and Target stores will do that.

Our relationship is different from the one I have with my daughter. But that is OK. They are different people with different needs.

He still calls me Papa and Daddy. But one day he won’t and as much as that will break my heart, it will be OK because I will always have my memories of my sweet little boy and look forward to making new memories with the good young man I will soon meet.

A version of this appeared on Great Moments in Bad Parenting. Photo by Sebastián León Prado on Unsplash.

One Day, My Son, All Fathers Go from ‘Daddy’ to Just ‘Dad’

You might also enjoy:

You might also enjoy:

About Niel Vuolo

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply