Navigating Fatherhood Together
On the day this piece will be published, I’ll turn 40. I have a 5-year-old, 3-year-old, and, wait for it, a post-vasectomy 4-month-old.
Yeah, it’s been that kind of year.
Or maybe it’s just been that kind of life?
I have no career. I have published zero novels, and despite having spent tens of thousands of dollars on college, I have zero college degrees. As far as banks are concerned, I own nothing. As far history is concerned, I’ve accomplished nothing.
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The hill was steep enough that I had to stop, my lungs heavy and legs slightly burning. I pretended to fiddle with my camera and stared into the valley below. The boys waited further ahead, one closer than the other, with the dog loudly panting. This family walk was my idea. We had started for their favorite oak tree, one of several in the area that have sprouted rope swings from their massive branches, but found it occupied by three teens and an Instagram account. They were listening to John Denver, sprawled upon a blanket beneath leaf and cloud, with the feet of their friends floating … [Read more...]
I doubt the trees know what I am thinking, and I doubt they would care, but they are witnesses to the growth that is occurring. Their fallen limbs have been props to the games and antics of this boy slumbering in my lap. Their leaves have offered him shade. Their trunks have been bases, mazes, hideouts, fortresses, even foes. The trees, these current ones and the ones at our old home, have entertained the boy. As I sit in my favorite chair, I stare at the trees and wonder what other marvels they will witness in his lifetime. At some point, will he abandon them as playmates? Will they … [Read more...]
I recently lost my mother to Alzheimer’s. The disease made the last few years especially painful, but she lived to age 85 and led a full life. Perhaps the only silver lining was that the disease’s slow progression gave my five siblings and me time to process her death, reflect on her life, and arrange an appropriate memorial service. After some debate, my family elected me to compose and deliver the eulogy. I was honored. Because there were so many of us, we grew up in a noisy family. My mother, who had a way with words, might have said we were “multivocal.” Thus, I thought her eulogy … [Read more...]
"My children may no longer need all of the things that nobody actually needs despite the endless ads they spread across the online parenting space, but they are still kids. And I’m still a parent, hairline be damned. Are we not an audience?"
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I recently turned 45, which, if you do the math, is legally dead in Internet years. I wouldn’t have believed it, seeing as I have made my living off said Internet for over a decade and, most days, I feel like I’m still breathing, albeit heavily. But the facts don’t lie. For instance, just days after my … [Read more...]
