If “Born in the USA” has taught us anything, it’s that people will cheerfully blare any song with a catchy beat regardless of the incongruously depressing lyrics. These days every store you walk into is legally required to play Andy Williams’ “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” at least once an hour. Tucked into that ditty about holiday cheer is this little chestnut: There’ll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories Of Christmases long, long ago Wait – what? Scary ghost stories? At Christmas? On the surface it seems like a lyric a few months past its Halloween … [Read more...]
Losing a parent is something you’re never adequately prepared for no matter how inevitable it might be. My dad’s passing in December was both shocking and not. He had Parkinson’s disease for almost 30 years. Such a disease keeps mortality ever present in your mind, and his life had been increasingly difficult in recent years, but the end seemed to come like an afternoon thunderstorm during the Florida summer. Somewhat expected, but still completely jarring. His passing left the earth beneath me unsteady. I often feel like I’m walking on the rocks beside a stream. Usually the walk is … [Read more...]
The 40th birthday party my wife threw for me was legendary – the next day’s massive hangover being evidence enough. My head pounded on that first official day of my fourth decade as I trudged out of bed and began picking up the remnants of the past night’s celebration. As I emptied the second half-full beer can of the morning, I mumbled, “F*ck 40.” My tone was dismissive – as if I was saying something snide like, “I’m better than ever” or “age is just a number” or “40 is still sort of a millennial, right?” Maybe I was trying to convince myself. The hangover, though, has not gone … [Read more...]
Last night was Halloween, and there were ghouls and fools aplenty. All of our favorite shows were represented in various levels of costumed detail. Movies, too. Star Wars and superheroes, the staples of my own childhood, still remain firmly affixed upon those of my children. There were red balloons and orange buffoons, clowns from every angle. The ratio of candy given to the amount received was squarely in their favor. They laughed. They had fun. They ate more sugar in one night than in the past six months combined. It was an evening of playful mischief and warmly lit wonder. Man, I’m … [Read more...]
"My children may no longer need all of the things that nobody actually needs despite the endless ads they spread across the online parenting space, but they are still kids. And I’m still a parent, hairline be damned. Are we not an audience?"
+ + +I recently turned 45, which, if you do the math, is legally dead in Internet years. I wouldn’t have believed it, seeing as I have made my living off said Internet for over a decade and, most days, I feel like I’m still breathing, albeit heavily. But the facts don’t lie. For instance, just days after my … [Read more...]