Remember when you learned about a baby’s “growth chart”? The first time the pediatrician measures your tiny child’s weight, length and head circumference can be stressful. It can also be confusing because it’s one of the few times when the 50th percentile — or perfectly average growth relative to other babies of the same age — is the most desirable score. Our firstborn had colic, so my wife and I developed an intense relationship with our pediatrician. Fortunately, he had a great sense of humor. During one of our “growth chart” appointments, we expressed concern that our daughter’s head was … [Read more...]
Unscheduled Summer Brings Some Shame, Some Boredom, Much Joy
What are my kids doing this summer? Nothing. That’s right, nothing. We’ve signed them up for zero camps, have scheduled no play dates and, alas, have no true idea of how we might occupy four kids between the ages of 5 and 12 over the upcoming school-less months. Yes, I’ve taken note of your full summer calendars. I hear your days will be packed with baseball camp, fishing camp, STEM camp, robotics camp, the YMCA day school, soccer camp, your week at Disney and the photography class you’ve registered for. I must say, I’m a bit jealous of the action-packed days you have ahead. I’m … [Read more...]
Have You Become Your Mother (or Father)? A Spring Break Tornado Story
When your 15-year-old is on spring break with another family for a week, the last click-bait you want to see on your phone is “Tornado Watch from Florida to South Carolina.” What are the odds, I fretted, as my thumbs speed-texted “U ok? Just heard about tornado watch for sarasota?” My daughter replied like King Kong casually batting away a helicopter parent: “yeah we r good.” Despite her nonchalance, shortly after her return home she admitted that my message had, in fact, alerted them to a coming storm, much to her amazement. Begrudgingly, she gave me credit for helping them take … [Read more...]
I Want My Son to Know Judaism but I’m Not Sure I Believe Anymore?
With Passover beginning tomorrow night, I've been reflecting of late on my hard relationship with Judaism. On one hand, my identity is very much as a Jew, at least culturally. I had a bar mitzvah. I've been to Israel. I can read Hebrew (although my understanding is limited). I went to a Hebrew high school, and even taught there for two years. I know the blessings by heart, or mostly. I have Passover Seders in my house, we occasionally have Shabbat, and I can "Oy vey" and "Nu, so ..." with the best of them. I married a Jewish woman, and we stepped on the glass. And guilt? Do I know about … [Read more...]
Like Father, Like Son Even When a Donor is Involved
I'm generally open about being a transgender man even if most people assume I'm a cisgender man (meaning I was born male). I'm often seen as a gay man. This is fine with me since I identify as queer, but it confuses people when they learn I'm married to a woman. One situation where this confusion comes up, but is rarely discussed aloud, takes place when I am out alone with my son. On a good day, I'm 5-foot, 5-inches tall. My 22-month-old is the size of most 3-year-olds. Since I'm a work-at-home dad, I'm often the only parent people encounter when I take him to a class or the playground. … [Read more...]
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