When your 15-year-old is on spring break with another family for a week, the last click-bait you want to see on your phone is “Tornado Watch from Florida to South Carolina.” What are the odds, I fretted, as my thumbs speed-texted “U ok? Just heard about tornado watch for sarasota?” My daughter replied like King Kong casually batting away a helicopter parent: “yeah we r good.” Despite her nonchalance, shortly after her return home she admitted that my message had, in fact, alerted them to a coming storm, much to her amazement. Begrudgingly, she gave me credit for helping them take … [Read more...]
I Want My Son to Know Judaism but I’m Not Sure I Believe Anymore?
With Passover beginning tomorrow night, I've been reflecting of late on my hard relationship with Judaism. On one hand, my identity is very much as a Jew, at least culturally. I had a bar mitzvah. I've been to Israel. I can read Hebrew (although my understanding is limited). I went to a Hebrew high school, and even taught there for two years. I know the blessings by heart, or mostly. I have Passover Seders in my house, we occasionally have Shabbat, and I can "Oy vey" and "Nu, so ..." with the best of them. I married a Jewish woman, and we stepped on the glass. And guilt? Do I know about … [Read more...]
Like Father, Like Son Even When a Donor is Involved
I'm generally open about being a transgender man even if most people assume I'm a cisgender man (meaning I was born male). I'm often seen as a gay man. This is fine with me since I identify as queer, but it confuses people when they learn I'm married to a woman. One situation where this confusion comes up, but is rarely discussed aloud, takes place when I am out alone with my son. On a good day, I'm 5-foot, 5-inches tall. My 22-month-old is the size of most 3-year-olds. Since I'm a work-at-home dad, I'm often the only parent people encounter when I take him to a class or the playground. … [Read more...]
Which Parenting Style? Why Not a Little of This, a Little of That
It’s about time to declare my parenting style because, apparently, that’s everyone’s business. I learned this through the “Parenting and Faith” Sunday school class at our church. Not that I'm that active in that class as I should be. Truthfully, I’m not active at all. I mean I don’t ever go. My wife goes now and again, but, right or wrong, I haven’t filed the class into the “must do” part of my brain. Besides, Micah 6:8 says, “What does the Lord require of you? To do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God.” It doesn’t say anything about getting kids ready an hour before … [Read more...]
The Price of Raising a Teenage Introvert
At any given moment, my son is speaking. He is standing near my desk, riding in the car, or running a trail beside me, the conversation free and flowing. The topic may be anything: the play-by-play of some random video game or a string of vignettes from his school day tied together by lazy shrugs and honest humor. His delivery is generally thoughtful and deliberate, on point, and with frequent stops for laughter. He is intelligent, funny, kind, and perceptive. His sarcasm game is next level stuff. I could listen to him for hours, and oftentimes I do. In fact, I pay him for it. Note, the … [Read more...]
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