Why This Parent Won’t Sleep Much on Halloween Night

“Hey, Dad! Wanna see my Halloween pictures from art class?”

“That’s a scary-looking jack-o-lantern, son. But, uh, what’s with the red under the eyes and mouth?”

“That’s blood! Oozing out!”

“Uh, awesome, buddy. What else ya got there? That’s a big one.”

“Yeah. I was the only one to do two Halloween pictures. Everyone else only did one. But I did TWO.”

“Cool looking witch silhouette in front of the moon, dude.”

“Yeah. Look down there …

“… That’s a tombstone by the house!”

“Nice touch, son… but, um, what’s that over there? …

“… Is that a scarecrow? With a chainsaw?”

“Yeah! He came to life! He cut up the man in the house. That’s who’s under the tombstone!”

(blink)

(blink)

“So, son, uh … wanna tear into the bag of AirHeads I bought for the trick-or-treaters?”

“YESSSSSSS!”

A version of this first appeared on Always Home and Uncool.