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Help Out a Divorced Brother as He Tries Making a New Friend

October 22, 2014 by Brandon Garcia

 

NYC Dads Group gatherings are about meeting a new friend, camaraderie, and talking shop about parenting

I reached out recently to a fellow father I met through the NYC Dads Group to see if he and his kid wanted to hang out with us at a local playground. The reply I received knocked me on my ass.

He told me he had moved out of NYC and that his wife and he were now separated.

DAMN!

The reason I decided to participate in the NYC Dads Group was to feel like I wasn’t alone and, all of the sudden, I now felt like I let a fellow father down.

If only I had reached out more. If only I had felt comfortable in my own skin as a new father, and as a stay-at-home dad just like my fellow brother, my friend, maybe … just maybe … he would have been able to work things out with his wife.

Who am I kidding? I probably wouldn’t have helped them out a bit but, damn, I would have tried. That’s what a friend should do.

I’m not gonna hold any punches here: I was married once before. I know the pain that it puts on a dude. No matter how much you try to show you aren’t bothered by it, the more it hurts.

Being a new father — no matter what your age, social or economic status is — we are all going through the same challenges in this modern-day revolution of what being a father means. Our better half may be jealous that we “get to spend all our time” with the little monkey while they only get two hours. A single parent may feel completely overwhelmed time-wise and financially. A same sex couple may feel uneasy from societal tendencies but in the end, we are all the same. It takes a village to raise a child and here in NYC the task sometimes feels more restricted due to the insufferable amount of single people, maybe that’s why so many people leave the city once a child enters into the equation.

We have an advantage here at the NYC Dads Group: each other.

I’m not always happy to venture out to Queens, Brooklyn or the far ends of Manhattan but every time I do I am happy to talk with other men just like me going through the same thing.

I do not bring home the bacon and that hurts. I wish I did. Then again, I wouldn’t be able to spend the formidable years with my son who I never really thought I would want in my life. Now that is all I care about.

I try to learn every day from my wife and son and I can honestly say that I am a better man.

Moral of the story: Get out of your skin and make a new friend. It maybe awkward at first but it just might help that other person if you stop thinking about yourself for once.

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Filed Under: NYC, relationships Tagged With: divorce, friendship

About Brandon Garcia

Brandon Garcia, formerly of the NYC Dads Group and now of the Puget Sounds Dads Group decided to stay home and help with his son while his wife went back to work. He has covered the Beijing Olympics, European Championships and numerous breaking news events for the Associated Press in his career. He is also an avid swimmer and snowboarder and hopes to raise his son to enjoy outdoor activities.

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