Thanks to Matt S. for continually steering us in the right direction on some amazing local parenting articles. In Matt’s words, this one is “outstanding.” I believe it to be some of the most relevant content regarding fatherhood and I am excited to share it with others as well.
As an at-home dad and very involved parent, I embrace parenting concepts like Equally Shared Parenting: Rewriting the Rules For a New Generation of Parents by Marc & Amy Vachon. Equally Shared Parenting enables my wife and I to both “dig” into parenting so we reap it’s countless rewards (and scary challenges). We are teammates!
Attention all parents! You MUST read Lisa Belkin’s Motherlode Post, Parents as Teammates. For one, it is a guest post written by Amy & Marc Vachon. Two, it is powerful, easy to relate to, and full of truth. One of those articles you read, where you catch yourself continually nodding your head in agreement. Lastly, the Vachon’s offer very practical advice that most parents can try out (even though it will be a challenging task for many families). Yep, they gently nudge the mom’s to start supporting dad as equal status and poke the dads to start digging into fatherhood. For dad: “This means getting busy getting competent. Here we have the same principle that works everywhere else in life — at work, in sports, in the bedroom: success and enjoyment come not from faking one’s way through the motions, but from knowledge, skills development, and experience.”
Satisfaction doesn’t happen if he takes the easy way out when the going gets tough — when the kids scream to bring back Mom at bath time, when Mom seems so much “better” at packing a toddler-friendly lunch or handling a tantrum or when faced with a whole weekend of solo parenting. It won’t work to simply mimic how others act either; he needs to develop his own sustainable style of relating to his kids. Hiding behind apathy or incompetence is a lonely way of life. Getting good at anything worthwhile makes anyone feel great — because it is authentic.
Sure, this advice may be easier for dads in my position who are already the primary caregiver, but all dads should read this with an open mind. You will be glad you did…