Editor’s Note: Our members continue to express their displeasure with a recent Time magazine article in which the female writer claims at-home husbands are an embarrassment to their wives. In this response, Jason S. Grant rightly notes that there is “no such thing anymore as ‘men’s work’ or ‘women’s work,” just love and support of one’s spouse.
My wife is not ashamed of me. Vivia Chen of Time magazine seems to think she should be.In her recent article, “When Stay-at-Home Husbands are Embarrassing to Their Wives” Ms. Chen asserts that “we simply haven’t evolved to the point where a househusband is considered desirable.”
If Ms. Chen or any successful woman in the business world had put her career on hold to raise their kids while their husband “brought home the bacon” would she take kindly to uninformed critics calling her a mere “housewife?” I don’t think so. She would probably call anyone a “sexist” who dared to minimize the role she plays in her family.
I am not the “little man” at home cooking dinner and burping the baby for my wife to return to after a long day behind a desk. I am not some little secret to keep within the confines of the household. I do all of the things my wife did when I worked in an office to earn a living and she was at home. I am doing the same things that thousands of men do every day in 2013 and 2014.
I don’t do it because it is what a mother or a father does. I do it because I love my son and I want my wife to pursue the career she put on hold to bring our him into the world.
Ms. Chen, please don’t misinterpret my comments here. I am not asking for a parade for doing what women have been doing for centuries past. But don’t look down on me for being a man doing what ignorant other men used to get away with calling “women’s work” just a few decades ago.
Before you judge any man who loves his kids and wants to be at home for them, please remember that we are living in the 21st century. Please don’t refer to a man who stays home with his children as an embarrassment to his working wife or something to hide.
There is no such thing anymore as “men’s work” or “women’s work.” I am very desirable. I am a loving, caring responsible parent and husband. My wife is not embarrassed by me and she isn’t afraid for her peers to know about me. But you should ashamed of yourself.