One of the first signs of autism I noticed in our son, Harry, occurred near the end of his year in kindergarten. Almost overnight, he began having difficulty making eye contact with me. As we went through the diagnosis process and I learned more about autism and Asperger's syndrome (the spot on the spectrum Harry seems to be orbiting), I noticed Harry only showed his mom and I affection while being a ”cuddly hamster.” What’s a cuddly hamster? It's when Harry talks in a very high nasal voice using squeaks and baby talk ("wuv" instead of love, "da-da" instead of dad, etc). Enter Avengers: … [Read more...]
Preserving Childhood Innocence by Burying the Unfortunate
Several years ago, we had a cat. He was sleek, moved effortlessly, and annoyed us to no end. In fact, when we moved from a townhouse to our current suburban home, we attempted to turn him into a part-time outdoor cat. Since he was always trying to escape from our old place, this seemed like a smart move. It didn’t turn out quite as we’d anticipated. My wife and I didn’t have much experience with cats, but apparently they like to bring "presents" to their owners. These presents were typically alive, but only barely. Or they were recently deceased, which was somewhat better relatively … [Read more...]
We Soar Like Hawks for Our Children, Hoping They Follow on the Wind
A pair of hawks, probably Cooper’s hawks, command the sky over my backyard and the surrounding acres. I spotted their nest high in an old oak across the street. I’m sure they are a mating pair, although at first, I thought maybe they were a hen teaching her fledgling to hunt. I actually thought that until two minutes ago when I looked up the breed and found out any hawks would only have eggs right now or, more likely, an empty new nest. So, not a mother teaching a child to hunt or a father teaching a child to soar like I wanted it to be. What I’ve been seeing is likely courtship, nest … [Read more...]
Next-Level Love Children Provide Makes Us All Better
As I sit to write this, I’m surrounded by my children. It’s a holiday. The sort of holiday that catches you off guard. “What? No school today? Crap.” Sometimes the kids are playing together. Sometimes they are fighting over something insignificant. Sometimes they are cute and awesome. Sometimes they are obnoxious and annoying, but at all times they fill my life with next-level love. This is the point where people without children check out of the conversation. They roll their eyes and breathlessly express, “OK. OK. We get it.” They don’t, of course, because some things are impossible to … [Read more...]
Hate Too Easy to Learn so Parents Must Teach Children Love Instead
My 5-year-old daughter and I had just buckled into the car, headed home after a morning playground adventure in Philadelphia, when the questions started flowing. After we go somewhere, I like to talk to her about what we just did and ask her about her favorite and least favorite parts. Call it an exit interview of sorts that helps me learn more about who she is becoming and help me be a better parent for her. I began with the highlight of the day and worked my way toward what she didn't enjoy, which is when she gleefully screamed "NOTHING!" and pumped her arms into the air. Then there … [Read more...]