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You Mean My Child is Not a Robot? Strict Routines Too Much

January 21, 2011 by Lance Somerfeld

robot boy looks up
Robot boy photo by Alex Knight from Pexels

Before having a child, I was Mr. Spontaneous. On a whim, I made plans with friends, went to a concert, checked out an exhibit at a museum, took a vacation, you name it. Almost everything was done on the fly — very little planning or structure … and it just worked out for me.

Enter parenting!

Planning and structure increases, spontaneity dwindles. Structure and planning is vital to figure out the patterns of our son and it results in a more happy baby. Believe me, you don’t want to see the little guy at 6 p.m. on a day when he has not had a proper nap!  After a while, I start expecting the nap to occur everyday around the same time. I expect if he eats meatballs each week with his pasta (and loves them), then he will want meatballs next week. However, after loving meatballs for the past two years, he no longer wants to eat them for dinner or even want them on his plate for that matter. What gives?

Recently, after a very active day, I put my little guy down for sleep at 7:45 p.m. (like always), but he rolls around and talks to himself for over an hour.  “I don’t understand,” I say to my wife. “He should be exhausted after walking around the museum all afternoon, how is he not sleeping yet?”

She answers, “HE IS NOT A ROBOT! You don’t always fall asleep at the same time every night.”

My wife is right, it’s a good point.

That said, it’s frustrating for me when our son doesn’t stick to the mapped out schedule. Maybe it is his way of saying, “hey dad, let me have some more spontaneity in my life!” As I reflect, I realize I need to be less rigid with the parenting schedule, and roll a little more with the punches. Our son is not a robot!  He is a little person with feelings, emotions, and opinions, and I need to respect that.  Sometimes, this “gatekeeper” needs to be put in his place to learn a lesson.

Robot boy photo by Alex Knight from Pexels

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Filed Under: NYC, parenting styles Tagged With: overparenting

About Lance Somerfeld

Lance Somerfeld, co-founder of City Dads Group, lives with his wife and two children in New York City. He frequently contributes to the conversation about modern fatherhood, work-life balance, shifting gender roles, and brand’s marketing to dads. He has appeared on local and national television, including CNN, Today and Katie. He has been quoted by The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today, GQ, Parenting and The Atlantic.

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Comments

  1. frank b says

    January 22, 2011 at 6:50 pm

    great post! i agree with you totally. our little girl has been riding this spontaneity wave for some time now. we have have been going with the flow and it has been fun and extremely exhausting, to say the least. enjoy the ride!

    Reply

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