Valentine’s Day dad jokes? Surely, we can’t be serious?
Of course, we’re not serious. They’re jokes!
In our ongoing attempt to corner the market on the best, funniest, silliest holiday dad jokes (next up — St. Patrick’s Day) and seasonal dad jokes (check out our winter ones), our crack team of stupid cupids have scoured the internet for the best and worst Valentine’s Day dad jokes, riddles and puns — all clean holiday jokes for the kids and families to enjoy. We then put them all in one funny place help you illicit groans and some hearty har-hars from those you love. Or is it loathe?
Best/worst Valentine’s Day dad jokes, riddles and puns
Q. Why do skunks love Valentine’s Day?
A. Because they’re scent-ual animals!
Q. Why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef?
A. He’ll dessert you.
Q. Why did the sheriff lock up his girlfriend?
A. She stole his heart.
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Two antennae met on a roof, fell in love and got married. Their wedding ceremony wasn’t fancy but, man, the reception was excellent.
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Q. What did one oar say to the other oar?
A. “Can I interest you in a little row-mance?”
Q. What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
A. A hug and a quiche!
Q. Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
A. It was Valenswine’s Day!
Q. Why is romaine lettuce the most loving of vegetables?
A. Because it’s all heart.
Q. Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?
A. She didn’t suit his taste!
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Did you hear about the bed bugs who fell in love? They’re getting married in the spring!
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Q. Why do melons have to get married in churches?
A. Because they cantaloupe.
Q. Why do Valentines have hearts on them?
A. Because spleens would look pretty gross.
Q. What do you call young love in an aquarium?
A. Guppy love.
Q. What type of flowers do squirrels give each other on Valentine’s Day?
Q. What did the rabbit say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
A. Somebunny loves you!
Q. What’s an octopus’s favorite love song?
A. “I Wanna Hold Your Hand, Hand, Hand, Hand, Hand, Hand, Hand, Hand”
Q. Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
A. Yes, February 14th.