I was convinced that when I became a parent that I would not use baby talk. It seemed useless and demeaning. My wife and I have been more interested in speaking to our daughter mainly using our common vocabulary. I did not, however, realize that my daughter would be partly responsible for increasing my vocabulary and word building in a way that would have impressed William Shakespeare, or better yet, Dr. Seuss.
Here are a few of my favorite words and expressions that have become a part of this new language of parenthood due in large part to my daughter:
Stretch Face (n.)
The elongated facial expression my daughter displays when she has been caught in a lie.
Poop Story (n.)
An often original story my daughter requires from the available adult during her pooping process. Only one story per poop, despite what she might say.
Sleepy Sillies (n.)
The usually silly behavior of my daughter when she is obviously tired. Her speech often becomes slurred and her logic is deVulcanized. In addition, you can also determine the type of drunk your child will become during this period of time.
The act of combining multiple words, phrases, or names into one word.
The act of breaking wind. (e.g. “Daddy, I made a pop. Sorry.”)
Hulk Tight (n.)
The highest level of tightness in parent to child hand holding.
Hulk Snug (n.)
the highest level of tightness in parent to child-hand hugging.
Supergirl Leg Lock 4 (n.)
My daughter’s version of the figure four leg, that she heard me jokingly say once. Probably the finishing move for her super hero persona, Camilla Kid.
To handle something, much like how Scandal‘s Olivia Pope would. (e.g., “I poped that puzzle, Daddy!”)
What original words and phrases has your family added to your vocabulary? Keep it clean, folks.
A version of The New Language of Parenthood first appeared on The Brown Gothamite.