Summer Spent Longing for What These Months Used to Mean to Me

The alarm went off this morning just after six. And my daily routine began: morning service, breakfast, drive the kids to camp, work, pick up kids, work, dinner, hang with kids and work.

Oh, how could I forget – ensure kids have done their summer work for school.

Yup, that’s pretty much my daily routine.

You know what that reminds me of? The rest of the year!

Remember when summer was different? Remember when the season could not come fast enough and it could not stay for long enough?

What filled your summers? Mine changed over the years but all had an element of magic.

My boyhood summers were full of languid days of stickball, baseball cards and fireflies. Summer was simple.

Eventually, part-time jobs – busboy, cashier, stock boy – were part of my summer. But so were swimming pools and late nights hanging out at friend’s houses. Summer was energy.

Then college ended and I traveled during those next summers, going to the Middle East and Europe multiple times and there was time spent time out West. Summer was exploration.

Graduate school years brought more summers of part-time jobs and exploring New York City. Summer was wonder.

Then came the publishing industry and the marketing departments of architectural and engineering firms. July and August nights were for friends, dates and destinations. Summer was socialization.

Finally, there were over 10 years as a teacher, and summer meant a part-time job for extra money (if there is such a thing for the middle class). Summer was recuperation.

That brings us back to the present.

I killed summer. It’s mundane. It’s the workday grind. It’s the worries of a new business. It’s the concern about bills. It’s the lack of time.

Is summer done? Are July and August just like February and March save for sweat and brown grass? Turn off the heater, and turn on the air conditioner.

Well, my family and I will go on vacation (budget permitting), the kids are in camp, and bedtime is more flexible. And summer work is not the same as homework. So, there is some easing of the grind.

But …

I do miss the ease. I miss the feeling that summer was one long day at the park. Possibilities existed, and if they arose, there was time to explore.

I know, I know. It’s responsibility and adulthood. Most people are in jobs that see little difference in terms of workload during the summer. For me, however, this is a new phenomenon. I’m in my adjustment period. Don’t worry though – I’ll be fine.

It’s just I Killed Summer, and I miss it.

[Sighs.]

P.S. Which way to the beach? Oh, never mind.

A version of this first appeared on Me, Myself and Kids. Photo: Brooklyn Morgan on Unsplash