Summer dad jokes are hot this time of year, kids. Hotter than cargo shorts. Hotter than shiny, white New Balance sneakers. Hotter than, dare we say it, when the wife started a bonfire with our cargo shorts and New Balance sneakers.
Yep, almost as hot as those Father’s Day dad jokes we gave you were. Certainly not as painful as those grill burns we got from the cookout that day, though. Or the burns from those Fourth of July dad jokes — no, wait, those were powder burns from the firecracker “incident.”
That’s why we plumbed the depths of the internet for the best and worst summer dad jokes, riddles and puns so you can get laughs around the swimming pool or on the beach that are not related to your love handles. We promise these dad jokes are kid-approved and mom-tested for maximum groans. Just ask my family.
So if you’d enjoyed our other dad jokes compilations, you really should see a doctor. But while you’re in the waiting room, check out these …
Best/worst summer dad jokes for kids
Q. Where do Jersey cows go on their summer vacation?
A. Moo York!
Q. What do you do if you get rejected for a job at the sunscreen company?
Q. What do sheep do on a summer weekend?
A. Have a baa-baa-cue.
Q. Why are mountains the funniest places to go for summer vacation?
A. Because they are hill-arious.
Q. What do snowmen do in summer?
Q. What do you call a cantaloupe in a swimming pool?
A. A watermelon.
Q. Why are basketball players afraid of going on summer vacation?
A. They don’t want to get called for traveling.
Q. What do bees say during a heat wave?
A. Boy, it’s swarm!
Q. Where do sheep go on vacation?
A. The Baa-hamas
Q. Why doesn’t summer have any friends?
A. Because it’s not cool enough.
Q. Why did the robot go on vacation?
A. He needed to recharge his batteries.
Q. What’s the best way to watch a fishing tournament?
A. By live stream.
Q. Where do sharks go on vacation?
Q. What do you call a snowman in summer?
A. A puddle.
Q. What do you get when you combine an elephant with a fish?
A. Swimming trunks.
Q. Who’s Irish and stays outside all summer?
A. Patty O’Furniture.
Q. Why don’t mummies ever take a summer vacation?
A. They’re afraid to unwind.
Q. Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
A. To make up for his miserable summer.
Q. Why do bananas use sunscreen?
A. So they don’t peel.
Q. Where does fruit like to vacation?
A. In Pear-is.
Q. What did the pig say on a hot summer day?
A. I’m bacon!
Q. Where do ghosts like to go to cool off in the summer heat?
A. Lake Eerie.
Q. Why was the boy excited for summer’s arrival?
A. After hearing dad jokes all winter, he couldn’t wait to retaliate with some son-burns.