Parenting.com published an article not too long ago, Mad At Dad: We love our husbands — so why are we so angry at them, so often? by Martha Brockenbrough. I really enjoyed this article for several reasons.
First, as an involved father, with many friends who are involved fathers, I found the statistics below surprising. Second, I live in a household where parenting in many ways is shared so I am curious to ask my wife if she is “mad” at this dad. Lastly, I would be interested to see the results of the survey if it were reversed, and 1,000 dads were asked the same questions.
The premise of the article is based on “Parenting‘s nationally representative survey of more than 1,000 mothers on MomConnection, an online panel of moms, the majority of us confess to feeling anger at surprising levels. We love our husbands — but we’re mad that we spend more mental energy on the details of parenting. We’re mad that having children has turned our lives upside down much more than theirs. We’re mad that these guys, who can manage businesses or keep track of thousands of pieces of sports trivia, can be clueless when it comes to what our kids are eating and what supplies they need for school. And more than anything else, we’re mad that they get more time to themselves than we do.”
I recommend reading the entire article, but I will highlight some of the statistics included:
- 46% of moms get irate with their husbands once a week or more.
- 44% are peeved that dads often don’t notice what needs to be done around the house or with the kids (it jumps to 54% for moms with three-plus children).
- Lots of moms — 40% — are also angry that their husbands seem clueless about the best way to take care of kids.
- 40% of moms are mad that dads can’t multitask.
- 31% of moms say their husbands don’t help with the chores — in fact, they generate more.
- 33% of moms say their husbands aren’t shouldering equal responsibility and are less concerned than they are about their children’s basic needs, like nutrition and clothing.
- one in four moms feels like she spends more mental energy on parenting than dads do.
- 50% of moms tell us their husbands get more time for themselves.
- 60% of moms don’t tell their friends what they’re going through, or they make light of it.
So, involved fathers and at-home dads, what is your response to the survey findings?