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Kindergarten Graduation Ceremonies: We Don’t Get It, Either

May 17, 2018 by Pete Gilbert

If you think kindergarten graduation ceremonies are bad enough, know that this is actual a photo of a preschool graduation event.
If you think kindergarten graduation ceremonies are bad enough, know that this is actually a photo of a preschool graduation event.

My two oldest kids didn’t have kindergarten graduation but I’ve noticed it’s that time of year again and several schools around us are doing so. Since this curious ceremony has eluded me my entire life, I’ve been wondering what exactly goes on at a kindergarten graduation.

Are there actual caps and gowns? Or just kids wandering around wearing ball caps and dresses?

Do the kids write things on top of their graduation hats like high school and college graduates do? Things like, “The real world starts now,” “Party time!” or “NAPS ARE DEAD TO ME!”

Is there a valedictorian? Is there one specific 5-year-old who mastered the “word wall?” Is this the kid that can do two-digit addition in her head? Did this child write an admission letter and get scholarship money to attend the elementary school of his dreams? Or is he or she going on a dodgeball or freeze tag scholarship?

Is there a commencement speaker? Somebody that can speak about what life is like after kindergarten. Someone who’s been out of kindergarten and into the real world for a while. Maybe a really mature third-grader can talk about mind-blowing things, like learning cursive!

After the ceremony do all the kids hug and cry because they feel they will never see one another again … until summer vacation is over?

This is the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night.

Since my kids didn’t get a kindergarten graduation I guess they’ll have to wait until the end of fifth grade (gasp!) for them to go through a graduation ceremony.

A version of this first appeared on Indy’s Child. Photo by USAG Yongsan on Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

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Filed Under: education Tagged With: elementary school, humor, kindergarten

About Pete Gilbert

Pete Gilbert is really Brian Craig, a stay-at-home dad to three elementary-school aged kids. He has written for Indy’s Child the Magazine and Cincinnati Parent Magazine. He is also co-organizer of Indianapolis Dads Group and a sixth-grade spelling bee runner-up.

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