The interview series continues with an-home-dad living in New York City who moved here from the Philippines. Here is another powerful interview displaying a proud father sharing his true feelings & opinions on the at-home-dad role. I believe these interviews enable other dads (and moms) out there to hear some of the truths about this growing trend. This week’s interview is a “spotlight” on Jovi (pictured above), NYC Dads Group member, and father of two amazing kids, Ellis and Lucas. Below is our Q&A.
It was by choice. We wanted a new beginning, and my wife got an offer to work here in New York so that’s how it all started. Everything just fell into place, and the next thing I know I was full time at home with my two kids for the first time.
We’ll, you don’t have to wake up every morning and think about what clothes to wear to work and which route to take to work to avoid traffic. Seriously, the best thing about it is that you get to discover your kids first hand… a witness to their experiences and explore new things that this foreign city has in store for us all. It’s the most rewarding job ever!
Knowing that whatever you do and however you do it can have an influence on their lives just makes it a life challenge for me. I try to make an effort everyday to improve my level of awareness in the hopes to be a better person and the best father for them.
On a bad day when your wife asks you questions that could indicate your inadequacy as a dad… or when you think and feel about exploding in anger after your kid …. SUCK IT UP! That’s right! Because at the end of the day, your kids will always be grateful to you after tucking them into bed or reading a bedtime story no matter how the day was. Also, extremely important to keep my sanity in check is to have a regular date with my wife- some adult time with no talk of the kids can do a lot of good.
Just hearing other dads talk about their challenging or success stories and experiences gave me strength. That I’m not alone in all this is a comforting feeling during a bad day with my toddler. The fact that there is a group that you can identify with is just a huge relief. Strength in numbers, as they say!
It has changed positively; now I absolutely admire them. I used to think being a stay at home parent was a minor profession. I was dead wrong!
7. When you tell your friends about your situation of being an at home dad, how do they normally react?
It’s quite common here in the States but back where I’m from in the Philippines, people are more traditional and hence it takes more time and reason to make them understand why I took on this role.
8. You are a father of two kids. How is the role of an at home dad more challenging when juggling two kids?
You NEED Noise cancelling headphones! I wish I had them. Besides the loudness, being the referee between fights and counseling sessions I would say the most difficult part for any situation is allowing them to see what works for them rather than what or who’s wrong and right. To be able to give them answers that will lead them to make a choice for themselves someday. Right now my kids are 5 (Ellis) & 2 (Lucas), but a couple of years from now they are going to have tougher questions and I should prepare damn good answers for them.