The interview series continues with an-home-dad living in Guadalajara, Mexico. Here is another caring & involved father sharing his honest accounts of the at-home-dad role. I believe these interviews enable other dads (and moms) out there to hear some of the truths about this growing trend. Here is a “spotlight” on David (pictured above), father of two toddler boys, Gavin and Quinn. Originally from the San Francisco area, he has been home with Gavin since he was born, first in Argentina then for the last 2+ years in Mexico. NYC Dads Group member, Jeff G., was responsible for connecting David & I for this interview. Jeff said that “I’ve enjoyed listening to David detail the joys and tribulations of raising kids overseas, and I’ve called him many times for advice. I imagined him as being, to borrow something from the New Yorker, our “far flung” stay at home dad – Contrasting his experience with the NYC experience would be interesting for other dads to hear.” I completely agree with Jeff, so Below is the Q&A between David & I.
After the first year in Argentina, I found that beyond studying Spanish four hours a day, walking the dog, also four hours a day I was pretty bored.
So by luck, or divine intervention, my wife became pregnant with our son.
So then the question of defining myself became a whole lot easier. That was 2005. Since then we have had our second son. We now live in Guadalajara, Mexico. In Argentina I was lucky to have a maid in the house five days a week, plus she acted as a stand-in nanny and babysitter. In Mexico, hired help is in fact more expensive than the US if you are seeking qualified domestic help that includes being a nanny. So I am pretty much on my own to run the show, which is a challenge in that cleaning and organizing can become my preoccupation over playing with the boys or giving them something constructive and fun to do.
The truth revealed, finally! I knew cheerios and yogurt were the only thing s kids really ate! I thought it was just me, gasp, relief. Great interview!
Great connection with our Stay at home Dad to the south. Great interview and having done much traveling to Latin America myself, I can clearly see the Machismo and understand the feeling of existing as a 1950’s housewife. Wild. I feel bad some eyes consider him a second class citizen.
I am glad to read he has a nice group of parents/friends from the Montessori school. Also, being able to create your own fun is very important; creativity and resourcefulness,
David brings up the “tip” of being flexible, keeping the kid(s) learning and having fun. This is key. Simply put: It’s no longer about you anymore… is important and healthy to understand and embrace.
Gracias David…
I wouldn’t say they give me the second class citizen status, but some consider me a “second class male.” To many I am in such an unorthodox role as a stay at home dad that they have a difficult time taking me seriously. The best comparison is the career woman from 1950 to 1980. Many men- and women for that matter- considered the career woman as “a pretender” who was possibly in avoidance or denial of her “correct” role. For me it is the reverse; my “correct” role is to be the career job and chief financial provider.
Thanks for the good words, Patrick.
Peace,
David
Great interview and great words from David !. I’m from Mexico (Veracruz,East coast) and I’m totally agree with your comments. I can tell you that none of my “macho amigos” in Mexico do the amazing things as “Papa” or have the chance to join a Dad’s group like the one here in NYC….Not that I grew up in a different world or that my Dad did not do his “homework” (that’s not my case 100% sure), but Yes, being Dad in Mexico is different.
Mucha Suerte David y Gracias !
Armando