The world is much different now than the “Leave it to Beaver” days. More fathers are choosing to stay home and be active participants in their children’s lives. With the shift in who is staying home with the children, society that I have experienced, for the most part has been accepting of the change. However there are always those who just don’t understand. Personally, as an at home dad, I’ve had instances while out with my daughter in which drive me to become more of active in the fatherhood movement.
My favorite moments of head shaking involve the grocery store. The first was being told to “Tell that baby’s mother she needs a blanket” when it was 75 degrees outside. By far my favorite is the cashier who could not comprehend I am a father full time. I wasn’t babysitting for the day. I wasn’t working from home and taking a break with the baby. The back and forth was akin to a “Who’s on First” act. I left confident that she had no clue what I was doing at the store in the middle of the day with a child.
Each time I come across someone who has no clue that fathers stay at home to raise their family, I try and take a step back and see it from their point of view. Is it a cultural difference? Is it a generational difference? Could it be religious based?
I had a manager who refused to be an at home parent. We went down the hypotheticals of if his wife made millions per year and there was no reason whatsoever for him to work. He still stuck to wanting to be the provider on the basis of his religion.
It takes a special type of father to step aside societal norms to become an at home parent. You will undoubtedly come across your own grocery store type incident. Initially it may be a shock to the system, but you will become more confident in how to handle these situations. Don’t let someone’s opinion dictate what you have decided what is best for your family.
What is your best grocery store incident? Please leave a comment below.
One time while shopping I had both kids in full meltdown. My youngest (2 at the time) wanted a bagel we were buying right away. My oldest (4 at the time) was bouncing all over the place and refused to stop… until she went forehead first into the handle of the cart.
Now I’m checking it with two kids crying and screaming. The cashier looks at me and says, “Now you know what you’re wife deals with every day.”
I gave her the stare of death and bit my tongue… kids first.
Ouch! I’ve found my skin has become tougher and holding my tongue easier. There’s always the urge to supply a snarky response but I find it just confuses people more.
This is why I do my grocery shopping online 😉
Not at a supermarket, but at a play ground in the Bronx. There was an elderly (75+ year old) Italian grandmother with her grand daughter who could not wrap her head around the fact that I quit my job to stay home. She kept asking if I meant I retired from working and finally I said “Yes, I am retired” at age 42.
I’m happy to say my experiences have mostly been positive ones. Just a few times have I had to deal with the “uninformed”, and even then it was nothing big.
Sounds like you made it a positive one too, great post!
That said, I’m with Matt and do most of my shopping online too. 🙂