Mind the gap photo: ©Agata Kadar / Adobe Stock.
I did something today that I haven’t done in quite some time. I ventured onto the NYC subway system during the morning rush hour with the little guy. What a zoo! There are certain things that I do not miss about the corporate life – this is certainly one of them. My son enjoyed trying to make eyes at all of the straphangers, but most of them paid him no mind. They were too focused on their music, smartphone video games, newspapers, or catching up on some lost sleep.
We got out at Grand Central Station to transfer to the Shuttle over to Times Square. The flood of bodies passed by us like we didn’t exist. Going against the grain, the look on their faces was what intrigued me most. Everyone had that look! You know the one I am talking about-staring at the ground in front of them-focused so intently to get where they are going. Was where they were going REALLY that important? At the time, I am sure they think so.
At a reflective time like this, the life of an at-home dad is sobering. More often than not, I get to breathe a little more easily and take in my surroundings when I am going from point A to B. Don’t get me wrong. We are usually in a rush and run late to just about all of our play dates & appointments. Consequently, we do stop and appreciate the little things. Even it is explaining to my 17-month-old son…the liquor advertisement on the wall, or describing the flashing red lights on the subway, or explaining why people keep getting on or off the subway. We stop to appreciate and observe.
We won’t be traveling during rush hour for a while. As I reflect on the hectic morning “commute”, I still smile, amused by the life that I lead these days. Lucky me! Despite the experience, I still miss working sometimes and all of that adult interaction.
At-home parents, do you still miss the hustle to work?
I think that no matter what, the grass is always greener. As a work at home mom, sometimes I think it would be so much easier to go work in an office every day. But then I remember how I felt when I did that, and how I wished I could work from home every day and work for myself. I think it’s human nature to always want what you don’t have – but I do totally understand missing going to a “job” and interacting with adults instead of constantly entertaining a munchkin.
Lance, your blog entry could not be more timely. Grace and I experienced the same sort of thing…on the same day. On the west side we waited for trains that had room for a dad and a stroller. The moment it takes to assess if there is room 4 people darted with complete abandonment through the open subway door.
Switching from the express to the local, simply across the platform, I had to be aware of the many incoming straphangers from multiple directions. Absolutely no regard for a man and his stroller.
Once on the local, two women darted in as the door were closing and stood next to Grace in her stroller. The train jerked forward to leave the station sending one women, not holding on, to fall backwards onto my more-quickly forward thrust arm above Grace.
Another man, one of those “staring at the ground” types, quickly did the same thing. Our parallel arms caught the women before Grace was crushed. After a thankful nod and a smile for “teamwork”, both of us passed on some “kind holiday wishes” to the sloppy straphanger.
Once above ground I did experience a short time of frustration with all the dangerous situations I put Grace to close to. I do laugh often at the entire new set of circumstances I need to manage every moment of everyday in my new role. It is unlike what many of the people I rubbed shoulders with on west side subway ride. I do miss being an integral part of the city’s busy hum, but remind myself that I find happiness and fulfillment in what I am doing and know its real importance.
I feel strongly that later in life, I will enjoy reflecting on the small amount of time I spent on doing the best thing for our family and hope everyone enjoys meeting our daughter.