Editor’s note: We like to display a broad spectrum of opinions and voices on fatherhood. Therefore, even though Matt Schneider shared his post earlier in the week about how much he loves Father’s Day , not all of us share the same feelings. Enjoy this humorous guest blog post from NYC Dads Group member, Doug Moe, on why he thinks Father’s Day is crappy.
Father’s Day is almost upon us again and it’s terrible. It’s so obviously a Mother’s Day wannabe. Without doing even the most cursory internet research, I assume that Father’s Day was created by the Hallmark Company a year or two after creating Mother’s Day.
A couple of execs were like:
“How do we sell more Mother’s Day cards?”
“Maybe make a second Mother’s Day?”
“That’s all I got.”
And then a little later:
“What about a Father’s Day?”
“OK, I guess.”
It’s an afterthought! It’s just like Mother’s Day, but for dudes. It’s obligatory. It’s a re-tread.
Who knows what to do with this day? It’s boring! What do you do, buy flowers for dad? Cook him breakfast in bed? It’s got Mother’s Day written all over it. And just like dads don’t parent just like moms, their days should be different.
Father’s Day is crappy no more
What I propose is a do-over. Start from the ground up. Fathers need a boost, a re-affirmation of their dominance and manhood (even if illusory).
I think Father’s Day should be like a Game of Thrones-style Tribute Jubilee! Meat! Games! Bawdy humor! There should be a Testing of Wills. Tributes! Songs of Praise and probably A Nap. In other words, it should be awesome!
Obviously, there’s a lot of room for fleshing out this new Father’s Day. But I really think I’m onto something here. Is it wrong to want a piñata involved somehow? You guys see where I’m going here, right? Awesome stuff!
So when you get the sense that your wife is making some preparations for Father’s Day, be sure to clue her into what you want and get your mutton order in for the Father’s Day Feast! Let’s do this!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Doug Moe is a Brooklyn-based comedian who writes about being a dad at http://www.manvchild.com. He performs regularly at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in New York.