You may think being a stay-at-home dad is all snuggles and cartoons. Well, you’re wrong. All. Wrong.
I miss tucking my button-down shirt into my khakis each morning and putting on the same pair of uncomfortable shoes day in and day out. As a stay-at-home dad, I’m now forced to wear blue jeans. Over and over again. And shirts — always untucked.
My mornings no longer have an adrenaline surge similar to what a pit crew feels during a car race. Waking up at 5:30 a.m., stuffing waffles in my sleepy kids’ faces; throwing them in the car at 6:30, slowing down just long enough at daycare so they can dive-roll without getting hurt; then pulling into work without a minute to spare. Good times.
Lunch time now is the worst. I’m forced to sit with my kids, watching them eat whatever I made, taking as much time as I want to finish my own lunch. I miss the joys of lunch at work. Waiting in line for the microwave during my 20-minute lunch. (Yes, I said 20-minute lunch. The glorious life of a teacher.) Inhaling my food out of microwaved plastic containers, where the center of the food is still frozen solid while the rest of it is burn-the-roof-of-your-mouth hot. Mmm, delicious.
And now I have to do my errands during the week when all the stores are empty. I no longer have the pleasure of waiting in long lines or playing bumper carts with the masses at the grocery store on weekends.
The thrill of driving during rush hour is gone, too. No more getting stuck in traffic behind an accident on the interstate. No more slip sliding my way home on snowy days, turning my 45-minute commute into an epic three-hour video game like experience.
As a SAHD at dinner time, I have to cook. Can you believe that? And eat homemade food! Gone are the regular meals of succulent fast food, such as my fave gourmet Italian — Domino’s.
So, don’t do it, guys. Don’t become a SAHD. Unless, of course, you like leisurely mornings, long lunches, story time with your kids, errands when no one is around, homemade food, no commute and comfy clothes. Then maybe it’s something worth considering.