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Dads Reality Show: Be Careful What You Wish For

May 23, 2012 by Guest Contributor

Editor’s note: The pitches from production companies wanting to do a docu-series or reality-style TV gig about stay-at-home dads has significantly increased.  Not sure which production company will win the race (if any – we just don’t believe the life of an at-home dad is exciting enough to warrant a recurring TV show – maybe an engaging six minute news segment – unless they create unnecessary or negative drama).  Either way, there are some dads out there raising their hands saying, “pick me, pick me”  to participate in a reality TV show, and this guest blog post from NYC Dads Group member, John Scamardella, admits that he is willing to take the plunge.  We just hope that the project is authentic, drama-free, and portrays fathers in a positive way. – L.S

You ever hear the saying: “Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.”
Of course, you have.
Recently, my family and I have had a handful of opportunities spring from my website blog, yourstayathomedad.com. We’ve been asked to audition for a commercial, a documentary and a reality television show. And I have to say, it’s pretty exciting. I mean, who would’ve thought that there could be so much potential in me not having a job. It really makes you stop and think.
Sarah and I just spoke with the documentary people yesterday and it seemed to go really well. The documentary is about how roles of women and men are changing with a focus on the working mother. As we spoke to the producer, the whole thing started to move from potential opportunity to very possible reality. Then I thought, “Do I really want this?” I mean, here I am a stay at home dad. A role that I have just recently come to terms with and accepted after being one for two years. Do I really want cameras in my face broadcasting my life to the world?
Well, the short answer is that I really think more good can come out of going for it than letting it pass by.
The long answer includes the many advantages: Free publicity for the blog, educating the public and shattering the stereotypes of high-powered, domineering working moms and effeminate, passive stay at home dads.
I’m also excited about the fact that the documentary focuses on my wife, Sarah. As I am a natural ham and enjoy being in the limelight, Sarah is happier being behind the scenes, which I think, truly is a shame. She is way more genuine than I am. As an actor, I have spent so much studying emotion and trying to recreate it that I sometimes forget how to just be real. She’s the kind of person who always puts the other person first; she always has questions, where I have stories. Her natural inclination is to want to know people, where my natural inclination is to want to be known, (hence all this blogging, auditioning, youtubing, etc.)
While some people may argue that traditional husband and wife roles are out-dated, I have to admit, Sarah and I are constantly struggling with inner conflict. Simply put: I struggle with letting go of the provider role and she struggles with letting go of the caregiver role. But why? If it truly doesn’t matter who does what role, as some people argue, then why does it matter to us in our hearts? Some people might argue that it’s instinct and instinct shouldn’t be denied. Others might argue that it’s just an imprint of society’s dogma, which has been ingrained in us over time and must be “unlearned”. Either way, it’s a struggle. Quitting just isn’t an option. So we keep struggling. Me, I enjoy exploring the struggle and if this documentary happens or we get put in the reality television show, then that struggle will be broadcast all over the world. And then we’ll struggle with that.
I’ve said the word “struggle” in my head so many times that it’s starting to sound funny, like some funny character from a fast food commercial.
Struggle, struggle, struggle, struggle.
Heh.

John Scamardella is Your Stay At Home Dad. He has a three-year-old daughter, Anna and an eight-month-old son, Lucas. 

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Filed Under: entertainment, NYC Tagged With: reality TV, television

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