We have loved the recommendation to #DoYourPARTner from our friends at Plum Organics. After all we became parents somehow… and we can be honest here, we enjoyed the process. Though there are times that finding “that loving feeling” can be hard to do. While it is easy to be romantic on holiday’s like Valentine’s Day… it can be more challenging the rest of the year. We thought it might be a good idea to offer a couple of mood making suggestions that might lead to a little more, “Adult Naptime.” Here are 4 ways we thought of to be intimate after Valentine’s Day:
Talk About It
You need to have the sex talk… not the one you dread having with you kids. Though this may be just as uncomfortable. Nevertheless it is an important part of a healthy relationship with your partner. If sex is important to you in your relationship you need to talk about it. You need to know what turns your partner on and they should know what turns you on. You should take some time to talk about the obstacles that prevent you from being intimate. It might also be a good time to find out when your partner most often feels “in the mood.” Getting on the same page with your partner is an important way to make intimacy a priority.
Once you have a better idea of what works and what doesn’t work you can start making things happen. A little flirting with your partner lets them know you are interested. Send them a text message, write a note on the bathroom mirror, or whisper little nothings to them in passing. It will make them feel wanted. It will remind them of how attracted they were to you early in your relationship, you know… before kids… bills… jobs…
Look we are busy people, jobs, PTA meetings, doctor appointments, soccer practices, etc… Spontaneity is not as easy as it was when we were younger. Look at your schedule and your partner’s schedule and block some time out just for the two of you. Then set yourself up for success. Remember those obstacles that you talked about earlier… do your best to alleviate them as best you can. For example, if an unfolded batch of laundry is going to pop into your partners mind and distract them… make sure the laundry is done. When the time comes put away all your distractions, hide your phone, and give your partner all of your focus.
When you were in high school and college intimacy was probably less about sex than about holding hands, kissing, etc… When you think back about it your mind was probably thinking about sex more. There is probably something to that. Just because the conditions for sex aren’t presenting themselves that doesn’t mean you can’t kiss a little more. Find opportunities to make-out more. It kind of primes the pump and who knows it could spark a fire that you can get caught up in later.
Got some good advice? We’d love to know what tips you have for keeping the spark alive. Please leave a comment with your best tips in the comments below.