Think back to your childhood. Do you remember your father’s (or mother’s) angriest moment as a parent? Chances are it’s replaying in your mind right now in vivid detail. That’s because raw anger, while sometimes useful for action, often results in dramatic, destructive and regrettable parenting. As a father of teenagers, I’ve had my share of parenting moments, usually involving a disciplinary situation, when I could have used some intervention. But I’ve also learned a few things about anger management along the way. My first tip would be to think of parental anger as a three-stage process: … [Read more...]
Balanced Worldview in Children Helps Them Cope, Understand
"Everybody’s crazy, drive safely.” That’s the mantra of my mother I remember best from my teenhood. Granted, her negative, imbalanced worldview was simply a way to contain her anxiety as I began to drive. Her words returned to me recently as my children increasingly navigate the internet, originally dubbed the “information superhighway.” Like most parents, my wife and I implemented age-appropriate internet restrictions as our children grew. But we learned that as children age, they need to develop the same critical thinking skills adults use when wading through the sea of clickbait … [Read more...]
Should I Be a Stay-at-Home Dad? Some Advice to Consider
It is hard for me to believe that I recently marked three years since I choose to become a stay-at-home dad. When my wife was became pregnant in early 2015, the initial plan was for us to do the same thing for our latest bundle of joy that we did for our first child nearly four years before: each of us would take a few weeks of leave then put our baby in daycare so we could return to our full-time jobs. When we found out we were having twins, those plans completely changed. Having three kids in daycare would probably put us in the poor house because, for some reason, daycares don’t have … [Read more...]
“Oh, He’s a Girl.” Talking to Kids About Gender Experience, Identity
I thought about gender all day long during one period of my life. It was all-consuming. This is not how most people experience gender but for me, it kept me up at night. That’s because I’m transgender and, prior to my transition, I presented in a very gender-ambiguous way. People saw me as a man or a woman depending on many factors such as context, social roles, and the person’s own viewpoint. In my experience, gender is an interaction and not just a self-identity. Two deli clerks drove this last point home one day. While I waited at the counter for my sandwich, one clerk asked the … [Read more...]
Sibling Rivalry Overcome with a Future Gift from Your Children’s Past
It was supposed to be a trouble-free paradise. My wife, two teen daughters, and I recently splurged on a family vacation. Their majority vote landed us at a swanky resort for a spa weekend. You would think two days of pampering services with names like “Espresso Mud Detox Wrap” would lead to familial bliss. You would be wrong. By the end of our second day, I could already feel the stress that had been massaged out of me surging back through my body. Why? My daughters could not stop bickering. For some reason their sibling rivalry was on steroids that weekend. I figured part of the … [Read more...]
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