It is hard for me to believe that I recently marked three years since I choose to become a stay-at-home dad. When my wife was became pregnant in early 2015, the initial plan was for us to do the same thing for our latest bundle of joy that we did for our first child nearly four years before: each of us would take a few weeks of leave then put our baby in daycare so we could return to our full-time jobs. When we found out we were having twins, those plans completely changed. Having three kids in daycare would probably put us in the poor house because, for some reason, daycares don’t have … [Read more...]
“Oh, He’s a Girl.” Talking to Kids About Gender Experience, Identity
I thought about gender all day long during one period of my life. It was all-consuming. This is not how most people experience gender but for me, it kept me up at night. That’s because I’m transgender and, prior to my transition, I presented in a very gender-ambiguous way. People saw me as a man or a woman depending on many factors such as context, social roles, and the person’s own viewpoint. In my experience, gender is an interaction and not just a self-identity. Two deli clerks drove this last point home one day. While I waited at the counter for my sandwich, one clerk asked the … [Read more...]
Sibling Rivalry Overcome with a Future Gift from Your Children’s Past
It was supposed to be a trouble-free paradise. My wife, two teen daughters, and I recently splurged on a family vacation. Their majority vote landed us at a swanky resort for a spa weekend. You would think two days of pampering services with names like “Espresso Mud Detox Wrap” would lead to familial bliss. You would be wrong. By the end of our second day, I could already feel the stress that had been massaged out of me surging back through my body. Why? My daughters could not stop bickering. For some reason their sibling rivalry was on steroids that weekend. I figured part of the … [Read more...]
Create a ‘Hall of Fame’ to Preserve Family Memories for Your Kids
When my youngest daughter turned 9, she told me she wanted to replace the poster of puppies-in-sneakers on her bedroom wall. When I asked what would be on next poster, she replied: “Usher, of course! Do you even know me?” As her stay-at-home father for many years, I actually knew her quite well, or so I thought. But as we thumbed through posters at a music store, her words surprised me again: “When I get it, I want to put red crayon on his lips so I can kiss him all day!” Whoa. Hello, tweenhood and another milestone. Flash forward a few years to our new house. Now my youngest's teen … [Read more...]
Does Your Family Need a Fresh Perspective? Try the Roof
“We can’t live like this,” my overheated 14-year-old daughter declared. We were a few days into our recent move to a new house — actually, to a very old house with many things that needed fixing. Its lack of air conditioning added to our misery, especially given the unfortunate heat wave. At first, my wife and I laughed at my daughter’s melodramatic statement (and her humidity-induced curly hair). People lived without air conditioning for millennia, I explained to her. Discomfort builds character, I reasoned to myself. Besides, we planned to install air conditioning in the near … [Read more...]
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