“PLEASE GET YOUR SHOES ON! I’ve asked you five times, and if you don’t get them on RIGHT NOW, I’m leaving you home alone by yourself!” It seems those words come out of my mouth once, maybe twice a week while we go through the morning routine. Throw in a "damn" here and there, and it might be more accurate. At some point in one's parenting career, we all experience these feelings. Before you start to call the authorities, no -- I would never leave my son home alone. It’s one of those empty promises we offer our children so that they do what we are asking of them. If you don’t do this too, … [Read more...]
Apology Holds Power to be Greatest Gift to Our Children, Society
A few weeks ago, my eldest child did something that made me quite upset. But to be honest, looking back on it now, I cannot even remember exactly what it was. As parents, we have to discipline our kids on a regular basis to varying degrees so keeping track of every occurrence could take up this whole article. But I do know he did something that made me mad enough to stop doing the dishes, call him into the kitchen and angrily reprimand him. I didn’t even see the incident. I just overheard him “arguing” with my wife in the other room, essentially defending something wrong he had done. … [Read more...]
Sorry, Mom, for All the Many Mistakes I Made in My Childhood
Fatherhood causes one to be reflective about a great many things. There is the grand mystery of life itself, the mystery of those weird silica packets that come in brand new shoes. (Really, why are they there and why do they tell you not to eat them? How many people eat things that come in shoes? Really.). And there is the mystery of one’s own childhood. A lot of people like to blame their parents for things. Today, I would like to do something different. I need to atone for some things. So … Mom, I am sorry. I am sorry for the pain I caused you through the sheer joy of mischief … [Read more...]
Should You Ever Apologize to Your Child?
Not saying "sorry" to your kid is a thing, apparently. A thing parents actually do. On purpose. For what illogical reasons I can only guess: to be tough, to be dominant, to show no sign of weakness? I cannot imagine not being upfront and honest with my kids, or with anyone really, and admitting fault, asking for forgiveness and apologizing. I’m no less strong a man or parent for having said “I’m sorry.”
"If There Is No Struggle, There Is No Progress” — Frederick Douglass
The brilliant 19th century abolitionist wasn’t referring to raising children or to … [Read more...]