I see what I want for my own children: always to have love in their lives ... whether that be in a monogamous, lifelong relationship or whether their evolutions take them on journeys with multiple partners — or other forms I can’t even imagine. _____________ I have been to a couple of weddings in the past few months. As one who has been married and divorced twice, I have felt myself wince each time when the couples pledged to be together for life. The wince registers on many levels. An abiding sense of failure on my part, particularly with my second marriage. I have two sons, now ages 10 … [Read more...]
When My Child Becomes Our Child
Editor’s Note: City Dads Group is proud to occasionally feature writing from members of The Handsome Father, a support community that helps connect, prepare and inspire gay fathers. In this piece, Patrick Roth writes about letting his new husband into his daughter's life. I was a single parent during my daughter’s preschool years. It was a period of transition for us. We moved from the West Coast to the Midwest, contracted to build our first house and learned to live with the new dynamic of single dad and his little girl. I can remember tucking her in, reading bedtime stories and … [Read more...]
Paternal Instinct Exists … Even in Gay Men
Editor’s Note: City Dads Group is proud to occasionally feature writing from members of The Handsome Father, a support community that helps connect, prepare and inspire gay fathers. In this piece, Jim Joseph writes about his desire to be a father. It’s always struck me funny how we tend to automatically give women credit for having maternal instinct. We grant it automatically; it’s just a part of our culture. With men, however, it’s been almost the complete opposite. We rarely credit men with paternal instinct, and it’s only after we’ve witnessed a super-human effort from the guy … [Read more...]
Being a Better Long-Distance Parent
Being a long-distance parent takes the parenting difficulty level up to 11. I only recently discovered this. My wife and I didn't get a divorce, but I did take a job halfway across the country. My family is living back in California while I get life ready for all of us here in Oklahoma. This distance is only temporary, but I am smack in the middle of being separated from my family for five weeks. For some of you that might not be a big deal, but for me it is heart wrenching. I feel like half of me is still in California with them. Some of these feelings might come from my parents' … [Read more...]
Son, Call Me Batman
Dear Son, You call me Batman, and you’re Robin. You want to save the world, and I’m proud of you for it. “We’re superheroes,” you say. “We’re here to protect.” Beyond Gotham, we’ll save the world. It sounds so simple. You make me believe that it’s all possible. I want you to believe it. And, somehow, I feel that you must believe it, because (in you), I see hope. I see the future, and I don’t want to see you disappointed. I know you will push forward, that you won’t take “No” for an answer, and that you will want to do what you feel is right. I also know that “right” and “wrong” … [Read more...]