When you have multiple children, you quickly realize parenting siblings individually to a collective audience is one of the most challenging issues you face. Each child is different and requires different types of attention, different resources and different parenting styles for maximum effectiveness. Even when you give it your best to be fair and equitable in parenting these different individuals, you realize that at times you simply come up short. How often do your kids hit you with, “You let the other one do it!” or the classic, “That's not fair!”? If you're like me, these … [Read more...]
Having a Favorite Child Has Made Me a Better Parent
I love both of my children equally but I have become a better parent after realizing I have a favorite child. I sat in the hospital room holding our newborn son, Joseph. Just minutes before, the doctor had to tell me to stop talking throughout the delivery because, as my son was being born, he was turning his head to see me, making things difficult. I looked down at his eyes drawn closed in sleep after the arduous journey he had just taken. Something felt different at that moment than it did after William, our first son, was born. When I held William that first time, I had a sense of … [Read more...]
Sibling Rivalry Overcome with a Future Gift from Your Children’s Past
It was supposed to be a trouble-free paradise. My wife, two teen daughters, and I recently splurged on a family vacation. Their majority vote landed us at a swanky resort for a spa weekend. You would think two days of pampering services with names like “Espresso Mud Detox Wrap” would lead to familial bliss. You would be wrong. By the end of our second day, I could already feel the stress that had been massaged out of me surging back through my body. Why? My daughters could not stop bickering. For some reason their sibling rivalry was on steroids that weekend. I figured part of the … [Read more...]
Comparisons Between Children No. 1 Parenting Mistake to Avoid Making
Ever heard a parent of a 3-month-old say, “My baby is just like me when I was that age”? Of course not. But when it comes to parents of teens, detailed comparisons and contrasts abound. Why do we do this? Probably because we remember the highlights of our teenhood so much better than our toddlerhood. I recently asked one of the wisest parents I know for her No. 1 parenting tip. Her reply? Stop all the comparisons! Don’t compare a child to yourself at his or her age; don’t compare a child to his or her siblings; don’t compare a child to relatives, friends, classmates, co-parents or anyone … [Read more...]
Stopping by Forts on a Sleepless Evening: A Parental Bedtime Story
It is evening. Townes Van Zandt is playing through a scattering of speakers, each calibrated just right to replicate the scratch of a weary needle upon the endless spin of a tattered record, despite the glow of technology designed to hide just that. The song, whiskey-laden perfection sweetened with melancholy twang, is a digital version played through a popular app on a pricy computer, not an album sleeve in sight. I sold my phonograph over a decade ago, my stack of wax shortly after, and while I have regretted it ever since, I have yet to partake in the vinyl renaissance of modern-day … [Read more...]