Author’s note: In this article, “queer” is used as an umbrella term for people with a range of genders and sexual orientations who are not cisgender, or cis -- a person whose gender identity corresponds with the sex the person had or was identified as having at birth -- or straight. In this way, a word that historically was used against LGBTQ people has been reclaimed by us. Instilling a sense of pride in our children is a responsibility many parents work to fulfill. For our family, in which my wife and I both identify as queer, that includes our children being proud of their queer trans … [Read more...]
Being a Husband to One’s Own Husband Makes for a Great Partnership
When Chris and I first got married, I was charmed and amused by the notion that I, a man-person, now had a Husband. I had a Husband while simultaneously being a Husband myself. My inner child loved it, finding it both weird and silly. That kid voice in my head actually giggled: "He's your HUSBAND? But you're both boys!" It was unusual, and extremely pleasing, to talk about my Husband, rather than my Partner. And way better than talking about my Boyfriend. I also realized how much I enjoyed hearing myself being referred to as Husband once again, in this new chapter of my … [Read more...]
Raising Children to Appreciate Diverse World Takes Parental Guidance
My child and I recently walked by a black woman dressed, head to toe, in purple. Several layers of purple actually, including a purple Red Sox hat. She stood out. My 2-year-old says the word “purple” a moment later and I agree with his observation. “She was wearing a lot of purple,” I say. And then I wait to see if there are any other questions or observations, but none followed. We keep walking and I’m thinking about how in the future the conversation will likely go past just the word “purple” and lead into questions around other differences he observed. Discussing racial differences, … [Read more...]
LGBTQ Parenting: How Different is It from Just ‘Parenting’
As an openly LGBTQ parent of twins, I'm often asked, “How different is it raising your children?” Our household must be a complete contrast from our heterosexual counterparts, right? Well, I’ve put together our household routine – let’s count the differences together, shall we? Wake up and sing Every morning when the kids wake up, we sing, “Good Morning, Sun.” I take off their sleep sacks, we stretch our arms and give great morning smiles. Sometimes they go on their tummies to stretch after a long sleep in the same position. Diaper change The kids really love their diaper changes. (And … [Read more...]
Sexual Orientation Causes Teen Struggle with Visibility, Vulnerability
So when she told me about LGBTQ Appreciation Day at school and that she was going to volunteer at a table in the quad, I was proud of her … and nervous.
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This month, I am 5. In Gay Years. I came out in March 2011. One of the things I’ve learned since then is not how to be gay (not a problem -- I read the handbook, and totally aced the exam), but how to be seen as gay. In other words, after decades of trying to avoid presenting any identifiable gay evidence in my words or actions, I had to learn how to relax with my true sexual orientation, be … [Read more...]