The stories are everywhere — women (and a few men) speaking their truth to abusive male power as the #MeToo movement rolls on. As the parent of two teen daughters, I am glad much light and sound are finally being shed on this topic. But it remains challenging to talk about at home in ways that balance how to promote healthy romantic relationships and avoid toxic ones. The one word I keep coming back to? Boundaries. As my wife and I discuss with our daughters the ongoing media stories about sexual misconduct, we try to focus on the need for self-boundaries — e.g., physical, emotional and … [Read more...]
Sexual Misconduct: Dads, It’s Time to Finally Fix This
Men — especially dads — have to change what we frown upon. We have to accept that sexual misconduct hurts us all, much like secondhand smoke affects the air we all breathe. It has been said that when women discuss a problem with men, they are often looking for emotional support, not help with a solution. But when it comes to the sexual misconduct issue ricocheting through our culture, that notion is mistaken. Women are doing their share to fix the issue by courageously raising more awareness, reporting more abuses, and demanding more consequences. It is time for more men to join the fight and … [Read more...]
Sex: Talk to Your Kids About It so They Don’t Repeat Your Mistakes
There’s no evidence of my mom or dad ever sitting me down for “the talk.” Any knowledge of female anatomy I gained during my formative years was acquired from unseemly sources: a flickering screen in the dark of night in the basement, glossy rags stashed beneath off-season clothing, and crude classmates in the hallways of my private, all-boys high school. If you were to develop a sex ed plan, mine would be close to the opposite of ideal. My lack of understanding about girls, and about my own body too, was painfully obvious during my high school years … and in the years that followed. … [Read more...]
Talk to Your Kids about How to ‘Date Safe,’ Seek Consent
Mike Domitrz received a life-changing phone call at age 19. His mom rang him at college to tell him that his sister had been raped.
That inspired Domitrz to, in 2003, start the Date Safe Project. Through interactive presentations, creative educational resources, and unique national initiatives, the Date Safe Project is committed to being the nation’s leading organization for creating healthier dating environments, a clearer understanding of “consent” and for raising awareness on the many issues surrounding sexual assault.
Domitrz joins the … [Read more...]
Sexual Orientation Causes Teen Struggle with Visibility, Vulnerability
So when she told me about LGBTQ Appreciation Day at school and that she was going to volunteer at a table in the quad, I was proud of her … and nervous.
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This month, I am 5. In Gay Years. I came out in March 2011. One of the things I’ve learned since then is not how to be gay (not a problem -- I read the handbook, and totally aced the exam), but how to be seen as gay. In other words, after decades of trying to avoid presenting any identifiable gay evidence in my words or actions, I had to learn how to relax with my true sexual orientation, be … [Read more...]