It’s critical for dads to have the sex talk with their children early and to get it right. It’s not OK to leave the big talk to mom or to assume the teachers at school will take care of it. Think about it this way: the teenage brain is hard-wired to care about sex, so when you talk about it your teen will listen closely to anything you say. Don’t miss that opportunity! I’ve noticed a few things dads get wrong when they try to have a sex talk with their teenagers. Are you making any of these common mistakes? 1. Don’t Avoid Your Own Sex Life It can be awkward to talk to your teenager about … [Read more...]
Raising Teen Daughters, Defining Boundaries in the #MeToo Era
The stories are everywhere — women (and a few men) speaking their truth to abusive male power as the #MeToo movement rolls on. As the parent of two teen daughters, I am glad much light and sound are finally being shed on this topic. But it remains challenging to talk about at home in ways that balance how to promote healthy romantic relationships and avoid toxic ones. The one word I keep coming back to? Boundaries. As my wife and I discuss with our daughters the ongoing media stories about sexual misconduct, we try to focus on the need for self-boundaries — e.g., physical, emotional and … [Read more...]
Sexual Misconduct: Dads, It’s Time to Finally Fix This
Men — especially dads — have to change what we frown upon. We have to accept that sexual misconduct hurts us all, much like secondhand smoke affects the air we all breathe. It has been said that when women discuss a problem with men, they are often looking for emotional support, not help with a solution. But when it comes to the sexual misconduct issue ricocheting through our culture, that notion is mistaken. Women are doing their share to fix the issue by courageously raising more awareness, reporting more abuses, and demanding more consequences. It is time for more men to join the fight and … [Read more...]
Sex: Talk to Your Kids About It so They Don’t Repeat Your Mistakes
There’s no evidence of my mom or dad ever sitting me down for “the talk.” Any knowledge of female anatomy I gained during my formative years was acquired from unseemly sources: a flickering screen in the dark of night in the basement, glossy rags stashed beneath off-season clothing, and crude classmates in the hallways of my private, all-boys high school. If you were to develop a sex ed plan, mine would be close to the opposite of ideal. My lack of understanding about girls, and about my own body too, was painfully obvious during my high school years … and in the years that followed. … [Read more...]
Catcalls of the North American Drunken Asshole Harass Daughter
My 15-year-old daughter had her first experience with a new species over the weekend: The North American Drunken Asshole. I wasn't present for the encounter, which was probably a good thing. My girl was visiting her mom in San Diego for the weekend, a couple hours south. Here's the situation: They were out for an evening stroll in a funky-but-fun beach neighborhood, a place they've been many times. They'd just emerged from a restaurant, and were just enjoying the fresh, salt-tinged evening air. As they walked down the block, they passed a group of young guys. I'm told they looked like … [Read more...]