My oldest is now 10. Last year, or maybe it was two years ago, he went to a sleepover birthday party as kids do. At the time, I didn't think anything of the fact that he was the only boy on the invite list. After the party ended, I forgot it had even happened. I was at another party a few months ago where the topic was "that party with the boy sleeping over." The parents were sagely nodding to each other, relieved that one girl just went for the movie and didn’t sleep over. According to the group wisdom, her parents had done well. "Uh, yeah," I finally said. "That one boy there was my … [Read more...]
Parenting Transgender Child More than ‘Just a Phase’
“Maybe it’s just a phase.” I said it to my wife while we were alone. I knew it was wrong, but I was feeling it so intensely that I had to let it out. I was feeling it because I really, really wanted it to be true. Our middle child had recently come out as transgender. I wasn’t supposed to feel the way I was feeling. I was woke. I mean, I was “hella woke,” as we say here in Nor Cal. I grew up in the San Francisco Bay area so I’ve been around LGBTQ people my entire life. In fact, if my child had said they were gay it would have been easy. I know how to move through that world. While … [Read more...]
Raising Children to be Bilingual in Baby (Sign) Steps
Like all first time expecting parents, I knew everything. Not as much as people who don’t have kids, they’re the true experts. But one thing I knew for sure was that my children would be bilingual. My wife and I are both sign language interpreters. Her parents are deaf. On top of that, we both have backgrounds in education and linguistics. We understood language acquisition. Our kids were going to learn American Sign Language (ASL). It was a no brainer. “Oh! You should look into baby signs!” people would say to us when they found out our backgrounds. This would be the cue for my wife … [Read more...]
Daughter’s Cleft Lip Makes Dad Question What is “Normal”
Editor's Note: A cleft lip, with or without cleft palate, is the fourth most common birth defect in the United States, affecting one in 700 babies a year. In this guest post, Roberto Santiago writes about his inner turmoil reckoning his daughter's quest to look "normal." It's a weird thing when your 4-year-old gets a nose job. Before you get upset, I'm not a pageant dad. This was a medically necessary nose job related to my daughter, Lou, being born with a cleft lip and palate. Since the day she was born, our surgeon has repeated the phrase “normal by five” several hundred times. … [Read more...]