When our youngest son turned 13 a couple of weeks ago he was officially engulfed in teen spirit, embracing it wholly, eye rolls and all. Granted, the smell of it had moved in several months before, body spray in a hoodie, and the attitude arrived even earlier. His birthday completed the set: two teenage boys sharing a bathroom and little else, save their love of pets and parents. They are, for the most part, free to choose their own adventures. There was a time that I would chronicle all of it -- the love and the loss, the raw and the perfectly flawed. I would put their stories to the … [Read more...]
College Drop-Off of Firstborn Leaves Parents Wondering, Worrying
“Thickly Settled.” That’s the road sign that appeared as my wife and I drove around the Massachusetts town where we had just moved our oldest child into her college dormitory. I had never seen such a sign, but my first thought was how “thickly settled” my heavy heart had been all weekend. I knew drop-off would be bittersweet, but the crowded mix of contradictory emotions that had taken up residence in me kept shifting through pride, sadness, joy and fear. Upon second thought, I realized the opposite: my heart was “thickly unsettled.” But I found the metaphor of a family as a … [Read more...]
College Search Tips for Helping You, Your High Schooler Find the Right ‘Fit’
Hear that collective sigh? That's the sound of high school seniors — and their parents — finally finishing the often years-long college search process. Fortunately, my oldest daughter recently found the right “fit,” a buzzword guidance counselors emphasize for good reason. For many, though, the process can be quite stressful. Here are five big-picture college search tips from the trenches for you and your children. College search tips No. 1: Conduct an 'I-search' before research Long before visiting campuses, encourage your son or daughter to pay attention to what interests them. How do … [Read more...]
Reflections of Me, My Dad in My Teenage Son
Spending time with my teenage son is like déjà vu as I grow to recognize my younger self in him more and more each day. His awkward self-consciousness, the inward turning, less communicative stance, his attraction toward friends and away from family, and his idealism, all strike a familiar chord. My son is me at that age – less messed up because he’s growing up without the chaos and dysfunction that I endured early and often. Yet the teen he’s becoming is very much a mirror of myself. It gives me empathy and appreciation for him at this point is his life, even as I feel my buttons pushed … [Read more...]