We are constantly fed conflicting messages about how to be a man. and these mixed messages can be confusing and harmful to children. If you let the media teach masculinity to your son, he might be drawing on a plethora of bad examples of "manliness": Men not caring what others say, using anger to get their way, or thinking that the world owes them something simply for existing. However, modeling healthy masculinity at home can help your son get a real grip on what being a good person looks like, and show your daughter how a well-behaved man should act. Here are five traits of healthy … [Read more...]
Father’s Day: Celebrate Masculinity Evolving, Dads’ Unique Roles
“Is Father’s Day outdated?” That's what Mary Schmich, a columnist for the Chicago Tribune, asked in 2018. For me, the answer is a resounding “no.” As long as there are men, fathers will be relevant and worth celebrating. And, I don’t just mean “father” as though it were interchangeable with the word “parent.” A parent, in my view, can be of any gender or none at all. If you are willing and capable of taking on the responsibility of parenthood, you can be a parent. A parent’s responsibility is to educate, entertain, guide, protect, provide for and love their child. My success as a parent … [Read more...]
‘How to Raise a Boy’ Takes Reassessment of Teaching, Relationships
Michael Reichert says that just as we no longer believe a girl's destiny is set by her biology, we need to think the same about boys. The old "boys will be boys" notion of masculinity is not inherent in their DNA. That and our understanding of how boys learn are among the many things Reichert, the founding director of the Center for the Study of Boys' and Girls' Lives at the University of Pennsylvania, says people need to change if we are to raise a new generation of men who can form strong relationships without falling into the macho stereotypes and sexist behaviors of the … [Read more...]
Mental Health, Masculinity, Hearings and Cookies
“Come here,” I said. “You need to see this.” My oldest boy walked toward me, his hands bright and swollen in mismatched oven gloves, one of which complimented the apron. He knew what it was that he needed to see, or at least the gist of it. I had been calling him to my side of the kitchen island for the better part of an hour, skipping from video to video, Twitter to Facebook and back again. “Watch this one,” I said. This one featured a man twisted as a pretzel. He was stale, salty and, apparently, wanting for beer. My son watched in silence for a moment, the words screaming … [Read more...]
Sexual Misconduct: Dads, It’s Time to Finally Fix This
Men — especially dads — have to change what we frown upon. We have to accept that sexual misconduct hurts us all, much like secondhand smoke affects the air we all breathe. It has been said that when women discuss a problem with men, they are often looking for emotional support, not help with a solution. But when it comes to the sexual misconduct issue ricocheting through our culture, that notion is mistaken. Women are doing their share to fix the issue by courageously raising more awareness, reporting more abuses, and demanding more consequences. It is time for more men to join the fight and … [Read more...]