All the dads of my group gather round as one pulls out his wallet. His smile is huge and, even though he would never admit it, there is a tear in his eye as he pulls out the little photograph. “That’s just precious,” one says. “Hey, congrats man,” another says. The picture is well-worn, and you can tell that he has shown it hundreds of times in the last two days alone. To his parents, his friends, even to strangers on the street. He can’t help himself because none of us can. He’s trying to be humble but there is pride in his voice every time he talks about her. “It was a rough go … [Read more...]
Teach Masculinity to Sons with Positive, Healthy Examples at Home
We are constantly fed conflicting messages about how to be a man. and these mixed messages can be confusing and harmful to children. If you let the media teach masculinity to your son, he might be drawing on a plethora of bad examples of "manliness": Men not caring what others say, using anger to get their way, or thinking that the world owes them something simply for existing. However, modeling healthy masculinity at home can help your son get a real grip on what being a good person looks like, and show your daughter how a well-behaved man should act. Here are five traits of healthy … [Read more...]
Father’s Day: Celebrate Masculinity Evolving, Dads’ Unique Roles
“Is Father’s Day outdated?” That's what Mary Schmich, a columnist for the Chicago Tribune, asked in 2018. For me, the answer is a resounding “no.” As long as there are men, fathers will be relevant and worth celebrating. And, I don’t just mean “father” as though it were interchangeable with the word “parent.” A parent, in my view, can be of any gender or none at all. If you are willing and capable of taking on the responsibility of parenthood, you can be a parent. A parent’s responsibility is to educate, entertain, guide, protect, provide for and love their child. My success as a parent … [Read more...]
‘How to Raise a Boy’ Takes Reassessment of Teaching, Relationships
Michael Reichert says that just as we no longer believe a girl's destiny is set by her biology, we need to think the same about boys. The old "boys will be boys" notion of masculinity is not inherent in their DNA. That and our understanding of how boys learn are among the many things Reichert, the founding director of the Center for the Study of Boys' and Girls' Lives at the University of Pennsylvania, says people need to change if we are to raise a new generation of men who can form strong relationships without falling into the macho stereotypes and sexist behaviors of the … [Read more...]
Mental Health, Masculinity, Hearings and Cookies
“Come here,” I said. “You need to see this.” My oldest boy walked toward me, his hands bright and swollen in mismatched oven gloves, one of which complimented the apron. He knew what it was that he needed to see, or at least the gist of it. I had been calling him to my side of the kitchen island for the better part of an hour, skipping from video to video, Twitter to Facebook and back again. “Watch this one,” I said. This one featured a man twisted as a pretzel. He was stale, salty and, apparently, wanting for beer. My son watched in silence for a moment, the words screaming … [Read more...]