"How much does a divorce cost?" I asked myself this when my wife was pregnant with our second child, Justice. I even Googled this very question. I don't remember what the answers were, but I knew they weren't for me. A divorce was going to cost me money, a divorce was going to cost me time, and a divorce was going to cost me my family. When my wife was pregnant with our first child, Journey, pregnancy was a new experience for both of us. It was such an exciting time. I was all in and completely connected with the entire process, from the second my wife's said "I'm pregnant" all the way … [Read more...]
Being a Husband to One’s Own Husband Makes for a Great Partnership
When Chris and I first got married, I was charmed and amused by the notion that I, a man-person, now had a Husband. I had a Husband while simultaneously being a Husband myself. My inner child loved it, finding it both weird and silly. That kid voice in my head actually giggled: "He's your HUSBAND? But you're both boys!" It was unusual, and extremely pleasing, to talk about my Husband, rather than my Partner. And way better than talking about my Boyfriend. I also realized how much I enjoyed hearing myself being referred to as Husband once again, in this new chapter of my … [Read more...]
Dads Can Help Moms in ‘Fifth Trimester’ of Re-entering Workforce
What should a father do if his wife wants to return to her job after she gives birth? Support her all he can and figure out how to make the marital partnership work for each of you, says author Lauren Smith Brody. Brody gives advice on how to achieve those goals on the latest edition of The Modern Dads Podcast where she discusses her latest book, The Fifth Trimester: The Working Mom’s Guide to Style, Sanity, & Big Success After Baby. Based on interviews and input from more than 700 moms who work in a wide variety of occupations, Brody's book is not all opinion and anecdote as she … [Read more...]
Blending Families of Different Races Brings Challenges, Blessings
Successfully blending families through a new marriage requires a lot of patience with the all issues that arise for stepsiblings, stepparents, stepchildren and, many times, ex-spouses. When blending families also means blending race, as my family is, it becomes a balancing act. My wife is white and I am black. From my previous marriage, I have three kids who are of mixed race, black and white. My wife has two boys who are white, also from a previous marriage. This creates a unique dynamic. While many people can forget the differences they see in other races and cultures throughout the day … [Read more...]
Life, or Something Like it, Before and After Kids
They say when you experience life through the eyes of your innocent children, you appreciate the little things so much more. And I suppose it’s true. Kids do change your perspective on things. But kids change everything in your life, not merely the way you look at it. It re-jiggers your comfort level. It alters your standards. Things you wouldn’t have been caught doing in your pre-parent life become the norm. Outrageous behavior becomes a way of life. Your younger self wouldn’t even recognize you. And if s/he did, s/he’d think you were a TREMENDOUS loser. Here’s a little … [Read more...]