I remember sitting in my therapist’s office after I learned I was going to be a father. I had overwhelming feelings of fear, wonder, powerlessness, joy, fearfulness, gratitude and defensiveness. As I discussed these emotions with my therapist, I couldn’t help but think about the struggles the men in my life have had being fathers. Alcoholism. Sex addiction. Unfaithfulness. Abuse. Anger. Divorce. Brokenness. The examples I had around me as fathers were men who said things but didn’t follow through. They meant well but their actions showed something different. My therapist then shared … [Read more...]
ADHD, Dyslexia Helped Jonathan Oliver be a Better Dad, Man
When life throws you curve balls ... well, you learn to smack 'em out of the park. That seems to be a key to success for Jonathan Oliver has found in his journey from college where, after graduating high school with honors, he learned he had dyslexia to his current status as a personal development coach, motivational speaker, author and at-home dad. Oliver, also known as "J.O.," joins this latest edition of The Modern Dads Podcast to talk about marriage, at-home fatherhood, and his new book, To the Little Boy in Me: Learning with Dyslexia & ADHD. In the conversation, he discusses the … [Read more...]
Helping with Math Homework Benefits Parent as Well as Student
I have been doing a lot of math homework lately. With my daughter moving into the first grade, homework was inevitable. It’s not a lot, don’t get me wrong, but it is math. Math and I don’t get along. I was so bad at math in high school that they begged me not to take it my senior year. I was given a wood workshop class and study hall instead. True story. And yet, here I sit every night working on my tally marks, counting by ten, counting by five, counting clocks, counting thermometers. And it’s a little fun. Shhh. It’s weird being on the third side of the desk. Everyone sits on the … [Read more...]
4 Ways to Parent Without Labels, With a Growth Mindset
Have you ever labeled one of your children — e.g., the “smart” one, the “clumsy” one, or the “whiny” one? Of course you have! Because you’re human. But as we know now, labeling a child is not healthy. A label often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and even a positive label can constrain a child’s identity by compelling him or her to perform that limited role. Hence, labels could be considered part of a “fixed mindset,” to borrow from Carol Dweck’s celebrated research on a fixed vs. growth mindset. In their recent book, Mindsets for Parents, Mary Cay Ricci and Margaret Lee attempt to … [Read more...]