Every Christmas growing up, for as long as I can remember, our entire family would attend a The Nutcracker ballet together. We would get dressed up and, my dad's three brothers and their families also along, head into downtown Chicago to watch some Christmas magic. As I kid, I really didn't enjoy this. I had to wear dress pants and most likely some God-awful itchy sweater that my mom loved. However, what I did like was that we went as a big group to somewhere special. That was our time together. We haven't done this in forever. With us kids grown up and with families of our own, the … [Read more...]
I'm generally open about being a transgender man even if most people assume I'm a cisgender man (meaning I was born male). I'm often seen as a gay man. This is fine with me since I identify as queer, but it confuses people when they learn I'm married to a woman. One situation where this confusion comes up, but is rarely discussed aloud, takes place when I am out alone with my son. On a good day, I'm 5-foot, 5-inches tall. My 22-month-old is the size of most 3-year-olds. Since I'm a work-at-home dad, I'm often the only parent people encounter when I take him to a class or the playground. … [Read more...]
“You’re taking my arms?” This question confronted me at a recent yard sale as I walked toward the puzzled seller holding his creepy mannequin arms in my normal human ones. My answer raised his eyebrows further. “Yes," I said, "they’re for my daughter.” Then I explained that my 14-year-old daughter, Lindsay, is a filmmaker who specializes in short horror films with a touch of humor. She loves creating these films, and I’ve learned that I love to find scary props to support her vision. Filmmaking has become an unlikely source of father-daughter bonding for us. As the stay-at-home dad … [Read more...]
I'm a poser. I, at times, gracefully fake being a fully present father.
+ + +From my vantage point on the nearby playground, I could see a golfer on the tee box in the distance. He looked like a legitimate professional – wearing a white belt, a bright-colored, neatly pressed shirt with matching shorts and sparkling clean, glowing white spikes. My daughter attempted to interrupt my staring, “Dad? Dad? DAD?” “Hold on, Vivi! I want to see this guy tee off,” shushing my 8-year-old as if I were a patron at the Masters. “SHHH? What? It’s a … [Read more...]
We write a lot about breaking gender roles when it comes to parenting. Now we talk about it, too. Joining us on the Modern Dads Podcast are Kori Reed and Mike Becker, husband and wife and co-authors of the book, ZagZig Parenting: (Mis)Adventures of a Career-Driven Mom and a Stay-at-Home Dad. ZagZig Parenting, released this week, takes you on a journey through the married couple’s contemporary perspective on being a mom and dad when the traditional parenting roles are reversed. Using comical vignettes, they share their differences, struggles, mistakes and failures in ZagZig. They even … [Read more...]