When I volunteer for the annual school carnival, I usually get to run the bounce house. That’s where the action happens. I wear a black T-shirt and tell parents the bounce house is "for kids only," although I understand their desire to climb in. Bounce houses are awesome. That's the kind of job dads normally do when they volunteer. But sometimes, when you're a dad named Shannon and the new president of the PTA doesn’t know you yet, you get a job that would normally go to a mom. That’s how I found myself, a bald middle-aged man, running the hair chalk station. My first customer, the … [Read more...]
Lower Parenting Bar for ‘SuperMom’ Status, Raise it for ‘SuperDad’
I sometimes feel I write ad nauseum about how much tougher at-home dads have it compared to at-home moms. Not because of the difficulty with the job itself, although I guess you could say women are still often “groomed” for it in a lot of ways from a young age whereas men typically have a much steeper learning curve. Rather, I mean in regards to what sorts of resources are available, and how much support and understanding one gets in choosing to stay home with a child. At-home dads have come a long way, definitely, but we have much further to go. However, today I’d like to talk about … [Read more...]
Playground Dads Deserve Understanding, Respect — not Suspicion
Dear Playground Patron of the Adult Persuasion, The playground at our local park remains a really great yet intimidating place for fathers like me. It’s a place where we get to have loud, crazy fun with our kids but it is often where we encounter frustratingly frequent reminders of how much gender roles and stereotypes about men and dads are entrenched in society. To help you and all those of us who watch over our children (or others' children) at these public spaces, I put together a guide so you can understand what modern dads are thinking and experiencing. This guide could have been … [Read more...]
Raising Children to Appreciate Diverse World Takes Parental Guidance
My child and I recently walked by a black woman dressed, head to toe, in purple. Several layers of purple actually, including a purple Red Sox hat. She stood out. My 2-year-old says the word “purple” a moment later and I agree with his observation. “She was wearing a lot of purple,” I say. And then I wait to see if there are any other questions or observations, but none followed. We keep walking and I’m thinking about how in the future the conversation will likely go past just the word “purple” and lead into questions around other differences he observed. Discussing racial differences, … [Read more...]
LGBTQ Parenting: How Different is It from Just ‘Parenting’
As an openly LGBTQ parent of twins, I'm often asked, “How different is it raising your children?” Our household must be a complete contrast from our heterosexual counterparts, right? Well, I’ve put together our household routine – let’s count the differences together, shall we? Wake up and sing Every morning when the kids wake up, we sing, “Good Morning, Sun.” I take off their sleep sacks, we stretch our arms and give great morning smiles. Sometimes they go on their tummies to stretch after a long sleep in the same position. Diaper change The kids really love their diaper changes. (And … [Read more...]
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