I thought about gender all day long during one period of my life. It was all-consuming. This is not how most people experience gender but for me, it kept me up at night. That’s because I’m transgender and, prior to my transition, I presented in a very gender-ambiguous way. People saw me as a man or a woman depending on many factors such as context, social roles, and the person’s own viewpoint. In my experience, gender is an interaction and not just a self-identity. Two deli clerks drove this last point home one day. While I waited at the counter for my sandwich, one clerk asked the … [Read more...]
Gender Labels Change, Blur as Today’s Children Redefine Themselves
My 14-year-old daughter and I were chatting at dinner the other night, and I was getting my daily news roundup about her day: school, friends, teachers, whatnot. In the course of our conversation, I asked how her friend Abby was doing. When I did, my daughter leveled me with a stern, reprimanding look. Now that we’re into the teen years, I get that look a lot. It usually means I’ve said or done something irretrievably dumb. “What?” I asked. “Do you realize what you just said?” she asked with a frown. “What? What did I say?” “You referred to them as ‘she.’” “Them who? I was … [Read more...]