My oldest is now 10. Last year, or maybe it was two years ago, he went to a sleepover birthday party as kids do. At the time, I didn't think anything of the fact that he was the only boy on the invite list. After the party ended, I forgot it had even happened. I was at another birthday party a few months ago where the topic was "that party with the boy sleeping over." The parents were sagely nodding to each other, relieved that one girl just went for the movie and didn’t sleep over. According to the group wisdom, her parents had done well. "Uh, yeah," I finally said. "That one boy there … [Read more...]
“Maybe it’s just a phase.” I said it to my wife while we were alone. I knew it was wrong, but I was feeling it so intensely that I had to let it out. I was feeling it because I really, really wanted it to be true. Our middle child had recently come out as transgender. I wasn’t supposed to feel the way I was feeling. I was woke. I mean, I was “hella woke,” as we say here in Nor Cal. I grew up in the San Francisco Bay area so I’ve been around LGBTQ people my entire life. In fact, if my child had said they were gay it would have been easy. I know how to move through that world. While … [Read more...]
I thought about gender all day long during one period of my life. It was all-consuming. This is not how most people experience gender but for me, it kept me up at night. That’s because I’m transgender and, prior to my transition, I presented in a very gender-ambiguous way. People saw me as a man or a woman depending on many factors such as context, social roles, and the person’s own viewpoint. In my experience, gender is an interaction and not just a self-identity. Two deli clerks drove this last point home one day. While I waited at the counter for my sandwich, one clerk asked the … [Read more...]
Robbie Samuels, co-organizer of our Boston Dads Group, talks about his experience as a transgender dad and his ongoing efforts to network with other parents on the latest edition of the Modern Dads Podcast.
Samuels, a professional speaker, also discusses his appreciation for the adjustments that people and organizations are making to encourage acceptance of all types of parents, trans and otherwise.
Editor's Note: The journey to and through fatherhood of Boston Dads Group member Robbie Samuels offers him a unique perspective on what it means to be a modern dad and raise a son in the 21st century. Here is his story. A magical thing happened on Dec. 15, 2015, at 9:11 p.m. I became a father. While I had been planning for that moment all throughout my wife’s pregnancy — immersing myself in researching baby gear for our registry and reading parenting books — I could not have been prepared for what it felt like when my son finally arrived. That day I joined the brotherhood of … [Read more...]