“Don’t be daft!” That’s one of the most memorable fatherly mantras from my childhood. It came courtesy of Jerry, the father of Tim, one of my best childhood buddies. I was lucky enough to grow up with about a dozen close friends, and Tim’s house was often our headquarters, thanks in part to his beloved father. At first, I didn’t know what “daft” meant. But since Jerry would usually bellow the words half-jokingly after some of our shenanigans, I learned it meant “foolish” or “silly.” Jerry died years ago, but his mantra returned recently as I packed for a trip to Folly Beach, S.C. That … [Read more...]
Bedroom Sharing Days Over, Siblings Split for Better or Worse?
The distance between them is a mix of years and meters, measures in degrees of space and sound and time. Two boys joined at the bloodline, bound by fate and floor plans, my sons have shared a bedroom from the beginning, their bunked barracks always a common ground. That changed last week. For the first time ever, the boys are each in their own room. They believe they have gained freedom and independence, which is true. But I cannot help fear a paradise lost in nightly confidants and the whispers between them. Also, a place for potential guests should any care to visit. This change in the … [Read more...]
Stopping for Beers on a Tuesday Evening
“Tuesday,” I repeated, my voice rising quickly on the last syllable, a vocal jump toward the edge of inquiry. “Did you say Tuesday?” I asked, now fully committed to the line of questioning. “Sure,” he said. “I’ll pick you at 7.” I put it on my calendar. I checked again to make sure the day was right. Then I started wondering what Wednesday would be like. Would I find the strength to carry on? Honestly, I don’t know why the idea of grabbing a beer with a friend on a Tuesday night registered the way it did. I’ve done social things on plenty of Tuesdays. And there’s a fairly good chance … [Read more...]
Friendship Worth Spanning Distance, Damning Expense, Braving Cold
Friendship: What is it? Where do we find it? How do we keep it? According to Facebook, a friend is someone we may have met for a minute, added to a list and left to the algorithm. According to Marc Antony in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, friends (like Romans and countrymen, respectively) tend to lend their ears and are often prone to peer pressure. According to my youngest son, friendship is a compass that points to where your heart is, regardless of time or distance. Sorry, Bill, but I’m with the kid on this one. “I’m not tired,” said that same kid, lying through his eyelids, … [Read more...]
Being a Dad Amplifies Isolation of At-Home Parenting
We all want our day in equality court. But I have lived a sheltered life away from the judgment of societal norms, so I had no idea my first experience requiring it would come as stay-at-home dad when I was shunned at the playground … by moms. It was a brisk morning for April in Texas. I arrived at the local playground and felt a sobering chill go down my spine. Per usual, I was putting on an impressive dad-ing display when two, seemingly innocuous, moms approached. My kids jumped out of their skin at the sight of other children to play with and darted to greet them. I helped my children … [Read more...]