Friendship: What is it? Where do we find it? How do we keep it? According to Facebook, a friend is someone we may have met for a minute, added to a list and left to the algorithm. According to Marc Antony in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, friends (like Romans and countrymen, respectively) tend to lend their ears and are often prone to peer pressure. According to my youngest son, friendship is a compass that points to where your heart is, regardless of time or distance. Sorry, Bill, but I’m with the kid on this one. “I’m not tired,” said that same kid, lying through his eyelids, … [Read more...]
Being a Dad Amplifies Isolation of At-Home Parenting
We all want our day in equality court. But I have lived a sheltered life away from the judgment of societal norms, so I had no idea my first experience requiring it would come as stay-at-home dad when I was shunned at the playground … by moms. It was a brisk morning for April in Texas. I arrived at the local playground and felt a sobering chill go down my spine. Per usual, I was putting on an impressive dad-ing display when two, seemingly innocuous, moms approached. My kids jumped out of their skin at the sight of other children to play with and darted to greet them. I helped my children … [Read more...]
You Can Have It All: Parenthood and Social Life Possible
Prior to becoming a dad, I worried about the effect this new role would have on my relationships – the one with my wife and also with my friends. It didn’t take too long to learn that worrying is as much a part of new parenthood as sleepless nights, dirty diapers and repeatedly singing dull lullabies to soothe the crying baby. Some of these worries are just the result of our own “mental mushrooming” – it’s easy to blow things out of proportion since everything is so new. Then again, some fears are completely valid. Among them are the changes to one’s social life. As scary as it seemed in … [Read more...]
‘Mother Huddle’ Makes Friendship Hard for At-Home Dad, Child
Like any parent, I want my kid to be happy at school. This is her first year, and while she knew a couple of the kids before classes started, there were still a lot of new faces to get to know. I figured friendships would form naturally, and that’s true to a certain extent. But I soon realized many friendships were swiftly forming because of connections outside of the classroom. One aspect of parenting that stay-at-home dads have to deal with is the “mother huddle.” That is those groups of moms who congregate at parks, coffee shops and playgrounds. The mother huddle is as much an idea as a … [Read more...]
Gay Father Finds Friends Fade, Family is Forever
Editor’s Note: City Dads Group is proud to occasionally feature writing from members of The Handsome Father, a support community that helps connect, prepare and inspire gay fathers. In this piece, David Hu writes about losing friends after fatherhood. To excited first time parents to be, I would offer encouragement and well wishes, but a bit of sobering advice as well: Be prepared to lose some friends. Most experienced parents know of this phenomenon, but for a couple reasons that I will go into below, I think this effect is felt even more acutely by gay parents. Fact: I have lost … [Read more...]