A teacher my son had said this to him about the art project he had just completed. A teacher who was supposed to bring out the best in him. A teacher whose very job is to inspire and empower all students. And so, his mind began to turn, "Was it really good or just good for a boy's effort? I am a middle school art teacher. When you train to for this profession, you are told that there are thousands of ways to praise. There is no room in art to undermine the creation, revision, polishing, and perseverance it takes to express oneself in art. In a subject where we think outside of the box, … [Read more...]
Teen Metamorphosis and the Parenting Cocoon
There were butterflies everywhere, so many that I was hesitant to open my mouth for fear one might accept the invitation. Besides, taking this walk was my turn to listen. The only sounds were a panting dog and the distant waves of traffic. My oldest son, on the cusp of 16, was a step ahead, leash in hand and disappointment everywhere. The walk had been my idea — even though he and the dog have a daily date to do so — this one wasn’t to schedule and being voluntold for the excursion conflicted with his plans to plan nothing. The dog, however, was thrilled. The hope for a conversation … [Read more...]
‘How to Raise a Boy’ Takes Reassessment of Teaching, Relationships
Michael Reichert says that just as we no longer believe a girl's destiny is set by her biology, we need to think the same about boys. The old "boys will be boys" notion of masculinity is not inherent in their DNA. That and our understanding of how boys learn are among the many things Reichert, the founding director of the Center for the Study of Boys' and Girls' Lives at the University of Pennsylvania, says people need to change if we are to raise a new generation of men who can form strong relationships without falling into the macho stereotypes and sexist behaviors of the … [Read more...]
Teen Angst: Where Has All the Blog Fodder Gone?
When our youngest son turned 13 a couple of weeks ago he was officially engulfed in teen spirit, embracing it wholly, eye rolls and all. Granted, the smell of it had moved in several months before, body spray in a hoodie, and the attitude arrived even earlier. His birthday completed the set: two teenage boys sharing a bathroom and little else, save their love of pets and parents. They are, for the most part, free to choose their own adventures. There was a time that I would chronicle all of it -- the love and the loss, the raw and the perfectly flawed. I would put their stories to the … [Read more...]
Bedroom Sharing Days Over, Siblings Split for Better or Worse?
The distance between them is a mix of years and meters, measures in degrees of space and sound and time. Two boys joined at the bloodline, bound by fate and floor plans, my sons have shared a bedroom from the beginning, their bunked barracks always a common ground. That changed last week. For the first time ever, the boys are each in their own room. They believe they have gained freedom and independence, which is true. But I cannot help fear a paradise lost in nightly confidants and the whispers between them. Also, a place for potential guests should any care to visit. This change in the … [Read more...]