“There he is. Over there. In the shadows. On a bench. He’s wearing a knit hat. His beard is a little haggard. Maybe he hasn’t slept in a while, or maybe, just maybe he’s some sort of bearded creeper. He’s just hanging out in a park, surrounded by kids and staring. He’s the only male here. Is he a dad? I haven’t seen him with any kids. He’s just sitting there. Watching the kids play. Something’s off. Oh, no. He made eye contact with me. Is he smiling at me? What’s his deal!?” As a house husband, I’m often the one taking the kids to the park, or gymnastics, or school, or dance. You name it. … [Read more...]
Introversion in Teen Children Has Upsides for Future
I ran into another parent recently, the mother of a girl at my daughter's high school. Both our kids are seniors this year; they know each other, and are casual friends. After congenial hellos in the line at our neighborhood coffeehouse, she asked, "So! What are Riley's plans after graduation?" We're not totally sure yet, but are looking at colleges in the area. "The whole college thing is overwhelming, isn't it?" the mom exclaimed. "How are her grades? How are her SATs scores? Are you applying to places that put a big emphasis on extracurriculars?" Grades were fine; test scores, … [Read more...]
Parents Need to Say ‘No’ So Kids Know They Love Them
I probably say it a thousand times a day and, honestly, it feels good to say it. I say, "No." "Daddy, can I have a popsicle for lunch?" my daughter says. "No. A popsicle is not lunch. Eat your lunch and then we can talk popsicles," I say. "Daddy, can I play on the iPad?" my son asks. "No. You already had your screen time today. Did you pick up your room?" I answer. Shopping with my children is when I say it most. If get near the toy aisle I know it will result in a barrage that will crescendo into a giant "NO!" that makes people's heads turn. This kind of trip has me grabbing … [Read more...]
Does Your Family Need a Fresh Perspective? Try the Roof
“We can’t live like this,” my overheated 14-year-old daughter declared. We were a few days into our recent move to a new house — actually, to a very old house with many things that needed fixing. Its lack of air conditioning added to our misery, especially given the unfortunate heat wave. At first, my wife and I laughed at my daughter’s melodramatic statement (and her humidity-induced curly hair). People lived without air conditioning for millennia, I explained to her. Discomfort builds character, I reasoned to myself. Besides, we planned to install air conditioning in the near … [Read more...]
Starting the School Day Requires Calm Routine
Starting school last year was difficult for our family. It seemed like every morning for the first month my son Jake would break down when he got to the classroom, begging me not to leave. It broke my heart. His teachers finally approached me and explained he might do better if he had a consistent morning routine. At the time, we didn't have a routine. Getting him ready for school was chaotic. So I developed a plan where he would wake up and go potty then have breakfast, get dressed and watch TV for a bit while we waited to walk out the door. Surely it would work. It did for a while, but … [Read more...]